Silent Melody
by Akina Tsukana
Summary: Nittle grasper is close to a record deal but they need a better vocalist to get a sure deal. Everything seems up in the air until Tohma stumbles across the perfect vocalist.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any gravitation characters

Warning: Tohma is out of character! Considering that he's 9 years younger that makes sense for him to be that way. There is no accurate information that could justify him being otherwise so please be nice other than that I hope you all enjoy chapter 1!

And sorry I don't have a beta reader yet so there maybe a few mistakes I overlooked.

Chapter 1: Turmoil

Tohma Seguchi groaned loudly at the sound of the incessant pounding at his apartment's front door. He had been trying to ignore it for the past five minutes, but it was obvious that his band mate wasn't close to giving up. He wanted to go back to bed and forget the plans of the whole day but Noriko was persistent in aggravating him until he let her in. While he knew that she had her reasons for wanting to force her way in so that she could speak to him. He felt that she should let him work out his issues on his own. Although he knew that his issues weren't just his, but also his band. He knew he had to get his temper in tune before he could face anyone right now.

Last night Tohma had reached his limit with Taku. Just remembering the incident caused the blonde to seethe excessively. He was always the type to keep his cool but when it came to Nittle Grasper's lead singer, Tohma could do anything but.

He sat up on his bed as he positioned his legs in Indian style form while he hugged his pillow. Taku was far more than he expected his old college buddy to be. He was strident, demanding, self-centered and looked at him as the band without Tohma and Noriko inclusion.

_"You guys just provide my music, I am the band."_

Tohma growled loudly as he threw his pillow at the wall. It was no way he could continue this band with the likes of him.

"Tohma if you grit your teeth too much you'll need braces," he heard a voice state sternly from his bedroom doorway.

The blonde looked up to find himself staring at his long time friend and band mate. He knew he was going to get an earful from her for not letting her in but that was the least of his troubles currently. Lying back down, he pulled the covers over him so that she couldn't see his face.

"Tohma its okay to show how annoyed you are with Taku," Noriko said casually as she sat down on the bed next to him. Tohma could feel himself relaxing a bit at the sound of her gentleness.

"I will say I didn't expect him to be this way once we were able to score a development deal. It's like he became a diva within a matter of weeks and we don't even have a single out yet." Noriko said as she let out a sigh. "Also I'm more surprise that you kept your cool for this long. It was a matter of time before you blew up."

Tohma inhaled deeply as he lifted the lilac comforter from over his head. His blue eyes gazed at his band mate as he moved himself to a sitting position. He knew that he had no reason to act so immature but holding your anger in for so long could do that to a person. He wasn't just angry at the fact that their lead singer wasn't cooperating. He was angry at the fact that Nittle Grasper, his baby was falling apart in front of his very own eyes.

It wasn't easy getting his idea of the band in full motion and now things were being ripped apart bit by bit by the heart of the group, the vocalist. Still, he knew things weren't going to be easy. That factor had been accepted and the hard work of getting things together had shown that. Even so to have a vindictive front man like Taku was beyond the calculations that he predicted could go wrong.

"What happened to him? He use to be so easy to get along with." Tohma asked as he sat and moved himself to the edge of his bed next to Noriko.

"The thought of fame has happened to him, and I don't think that Nittle Grasper can survive if he keeps this up. But this was our dream right? And we've worked so hard to get to this position. Let's not let Taku's diva complex ruin that for us okay? Things will work themselves out."

Tohma sighed as he rolled his eyes. _Things would work out?_ He wanted to laugh at Noriko's logic. Things only worked out when the person forced them to. Watching his dad over the years made Tohma realize that small aspect in life. Though becoming like his dad was the last thing that he wanted. He knew that if he didn't remove Taku from the band as soon as possible, Nittle Grasper was going to sink faster than his relationship with is parents. He had sacrificed so much in order to make this band and he wasn't going to prove his father right by failing because of a blood-thirsty would be celebrity. He would just have to sit back and smile while biding his time. He didn't want to act out of malevolent behavior and ruin the band. He would just have to go out and find himself a new lead singer. A person that he and Noriko could naturally hit it off with and not feel a tinge of regret for booting Taku in favor of. While that was the plan, he knew that it would be harder than it sounded.

A few hours later, the duo arrived at the studio to find their "favorite" vocalist already at work. While his hard work was admirable, Tohma couldn't help but to feel a bit infuriated that he'd went right to work without the rest of his band mates. It was as if Tohma and Noriko didn't exist and this was his own solo project.

"So you two finally showed up," the studio direct said as he smiled at the two warmly.

Tohma's bitterness ceased slightly at the warm welcome. Kazuma knew exactly how they felt working with Taku since he had witness everything over the past few weeks. So when there were days that the two were late or in a bad mood, he was completely understanding of it and let it go.

"Yea sorry about this I had a hard time getting Tohma out of bed this morning," Noriko said as she followed it with a giggle while walking over to the chair next to Kazuma.

Tohma smiled softly as he looked over into the booth at Taku. Their eyes met as they glared at each other intensely. Blue eyes met brown eyes as the two men tried to intimidate each other without the need of words. It was hard to believe that they use to be close friends only a few weeks ago, but now there was not a single trace of that past between them.

"Tohma will you stop staring at him like a 15 year old and pretend for once that you're 21." Noriko said as he looked at him with a slight scowl. The blond sighed heavily as he walked over to the couch at the back of the room and flopped down onto it. He knew he was being childish but he wasn't exactly use to not getting his way. He had been the only child and he always got what he wanted. Unlike most siblings who had to resort to trickery and temper tantrums to get their way, Tohma just asked and it was given. This was something he wasn't quite use to. Of course to Noriko this was typical behavior to a certain degree. He had always appeared to be a bit spoiled but this was overkill compared to the latter.

"Tohma in fifteen minutes we need your synthesizer part recorded." Kazuma yelled back to him without turning around.

"Sure," Tohma said as he stared through the glass and at Taku bitterly, he had to get this guy out of here. If not for everyone else, for himself before he quit this band himself.

"That's the third shot you've downed, are you sure you want another one Seguchi san?" the bartender asked as he looked at the man with concern. Tohma nodded as he slid his shot glass towards the man. Another session had ended and while everyone else went home, the blond felt like drowning his frustrations in a bit of alcohol. How was he supposed to continue working with that guy? He wanted so badly to just give him the boot but he knew he couldn't do that for his own personal desires. He had a band to think about and it wouldn't be one of the best decisions that he would make.

"I'm fine just give me another one, I won't go overboard," he reassured the man across him who let out a sigh before filling his glass up with another hit of sake. Tohma pulled his glass towards him when a soft but familiar melody suddenly flooded the room. Around this time he was ready to flee the scene because the last thing he wanted to hear was some drunkard on the mic singing terribly to another sad love song. Although he was annoying it was a bit nice to hear that someone was more miserable than he was.

_"My heart has been taken, or maybe I surrendered."_

Tohma stopped lifting his glass at the sound of voice that was coming from the stage. It was different from the others in more ways than one. Sitting down his glasses he began to turn around gradually.

"_Your touch was all it took, to put my heart in remission."_

"Wow he's finally back," the bartender said in a whisper.

Tohma turned around and looked at the man curiously. "I've never seen him around here."

"That's because he only comes here when he gets dumped. Every time he comes he sings a few love songs and has more than a few drinks. This time it was a record, he was gone for four months." He said as he chuckled.

"That's kind of pitiful," Tohma said as he looked back over at the stage.

"That may be so but every time he comes back, he has a hand full of poems he's willing to sing to everyone here. We like having him around, he even has a small fanclub here."

"Really?..." Tohma said as his attention became centered on the man on the stage. With each soulful tone he sung, the blonde could sense the pain within each phrase. His heart went out to the man to know that this was most likely a poem that he'd written when he and his lover were happily in love.

"_The pain that I had known is now in the past. I'm ready to give up and become yours at last."_

Tohma's heart soared as he took in the lyrics. It felt as if the song was being sung to him than to someone else. The raw emotion of each word that dripped seductively out of the man's mouth made his senses go crazy. The way he swayed his hips and ran his hands through his hair, signified all of the left over passion that his lover had left him with that was dying to burst out of him any moment.

"_I put up a fight, but it wasn't strong enough. The warm loving you presented was just too much."_

"What's this guy's name?" Tohma whispered to the bartender not looking back at him. He was mesmerized by the lyrics and the man on the stage. He'd always felt that Taku was a fantastic vocalist, but he wasn't nearly on par with the guy standing before him.

"Sakuma Ryuichi," the bartender whispered back.

"_So I'm giving you my heart, lock it in your sanctuary. Keep your promise and never betray me."_

"Sakuma san huh? I think I found a new vocalist for Nittle grasper." Tohma said as his eyes stayed glued to the figure on the stage. He was completely taken in by the performance and he knew that he wouldn't be able to take his eyes away when suddenly they connected.

"_Lost in love is one way to describe it. I'm drowning in your kindness, your passion and desires. I'm drunk off of your love, this is more gratifying than I imagined."_

Tohma felt frozen, Sakuma san was looking dead at him. Their eyes were locked as he continued to sing his song and the blonde knew that he couldn't just look away. As a matter of fact he didn't want to look away. His was completely taken in by every inch of the man as he continued to sing. The more he sang, the more sexual his body movements became. It was as if he was being turned on by Tohma's gaze only as he continued to run his slender fingers through his long brown hair. His violet colored eyes gazed intensely into his azure orbs as if he was trying to swallow up every inch of attention that Tohma was giving to him. It felt like they were staring at each other for hours when, as quickly as the song began, it was over.

The man on stage went from the serious, sexually charged singer to a happy go lucky teenager within an instantly.

"I see you're impressed," the bartender said as he poured Tohma another shot.

"Uh, yea…" Tohma trailed off as he turned back to the bar counter. He was good, but obviously a guy like that couldn't possibly want to go professional could he?"

"Sorry about that," a voice called out from behind Tohma in a sing song matter.

Tohma looked over to his left as the man on stage sat down beside him and smiled widely. The blond looked at the man in surprise as he cleared his throat. He wasn't expecting for him to come over and speak to him so casually.

"What will it be Sakuma san?" the bartender asked with a smile.

"I told you Taka Chan call me Ryu Chan!" Ryuichi responded chirpily. "But as for what I'll have, give me a fruit punch," he said as he looked over at Tohma and smiled.

Tohma on the other hand found it hard to believe that this was just the same man who was singing his heart out on stage. He seemed a bit different than before and Tohma couldn't quite touch it because it was an interesting sight.

"One fruit punch coming right up," Takashi said from behind the bar.

Ryuichi nodded as he continued to eye Tohma, "you aren't mad at me are you? I'm sorry if you got offended." Ryuichi said as he began to look a bit down. "But when I sing I have to find a person I can focus on and you seemed more of a better target than most out there." He said as he looked away as if he'd said something else wrong.

"Ryuichi are you hitting on another customer?" Takashi said as he slid Ryuichi his glass of fruit punch.

"No, I'm just trying to explain my behavior that's all," Ryuichi said as looked over at Tohma. "I wasn't trying to hit on you; I just thought you were…"

"No need to explain, I was fine with it." Tohma said cutting Ryuichi off.

"Really?" he asked needing reassurance.

"Really," Tohma said shooting him a warm smile.

"Wow that's a relief no da," Ryuichi replied back to his lively self. "I didn't want to offend you or anything…" He trailed off not sure of what to call him.

"Seguchi Tohma," Tohma answered a few seconds later.

"Toh-chan!" Ryuichi said as he broke out in a fit of giggles.

Tohma was taken back by that name as he coughed loudly. He had been taking a sip of his sake when the name he'd heard came out of Ryuichi mouth.

Looking over in alarm, Ryuichi began to pat Tohma's back gently as he apologized over and over again for the name. After Tohma regained his composure he looked over at Ryuichi, who now once again looked a bit upset.

"I'm sorry Tohma, I shouldn't have called you that."

Tohma couldn't help but to crack a smile, while he was a bit emotional he found himself becoming quickly fond of the man beside him. If it were anyone else who'd called him by his first name so quickly, he would have told them straight. But for some reason right now he didn't seem to mind.

"It's okay Sakuma san."

"Call me Ryu-Chan."

"Wow so this guy is that good?" Noriko asked as she took a bite of her onigiri that she'd just unraveled.

"Yea, he was that good," Tohma said recalling last night. After he'd left the bar he couldn't sleep when he'd gotten home. All he could think about was how great of a singer he'd just met. Not only was he a great singer, but he had an easy going personality though he was a tad bit emotional. But it was better having someone like that around than having Taku here any day.

"If he was that good why didn't you ask him if he wanted to join up with us?" Noriko asked as she leaned back in her chair and propped her legs up on the table.

The two had arrived at the studio two hours early to discuss Tohma's encounter with Ryuichi. He had been thinking long and hard last night and he wanted Ryuichi to join the band. But it wasn't like he could just walk up to him and ask him, he wouldn't seem professional if he did it that way.

"I couldn't just ask right then and there," Tohma protested.

"Why not?" Noriko asked as she looked at the blond.

"Because…"

"Because?"

"I can't say, but it's just something about him. He's a really nice person, and he may seem a bit childish but he's smart. He wouldn't just say yes to anything."

"Is that so…" Noriko trailed off as she started at the ceiling while continuing to nibble on her onigiri. "Well I'll come with you tonight, maybe with the both of us there we could work something out."

Tohma nodded as he continued to think, about the man. He hoped they could work something out. It was either that or way Nittle Grasper meet its maker.

End Chapter

A/N: Onigiri is a rice ball


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any gravitation characters

A/N: This chapter was edited, I made Ryuichi two years older then he should have been.

Chapter 2: caught in the moment

Two days had gone by since Tohma had gone to the karaoke bar and saw the very guy that could change Nittle Grasper's future. Two days had gone by with him biding his time on how he would be able to ask him to consider becoming part of the group. He knew that whenever he was ready to ask Sakuma-san about joining, Noriko would go there to back him up. But taking all things into consideration he would have to go about things smoothly. While Tohma wasn't the best at reading people, he knew that if he didn't approach Ryuichi correctly his attempt could end in failure.

Tohma leaned back in his chair as he placed the bottom of his pen in his mouth. He had to think things over and consider all corners. That was something that his father had taught him when he sometimes visited the workplace. In order to seal an important business deal, the negotiator had to look at all sides of the equation. While the main party was always a consideration, you would have to look at all aspects that would affect the deal. That vital aspect in this case would be Taku.

Right now he was unaware of what Tohma was plotting. But it would be a matter of time before he caught up to the blonde's calm demeanor. Every since he'd seen Ryuichi the other night, he had been fairly civil towards Taku. Even when he was purposely taunted, Tohma would just smile icily at the man knowing that in the end he wouldn't be in the group and he would have the last laugh. Some times he found himself wanting to hint at it just to see Taku become fearful of his influences, but he knew that would be a bad ideal. So he decided to keep his little secret to himself and Noriko until the time was right.

Sitting his chair back upright and standing up as he stretched, he decided that since he had some time off tonight he mind as well hit the karaoke bar once again. He had to keep himself fresh in Sakuma-san's mind so that the man wouldn't forget him. The last thing he needed was to have his potential new band mate forgetting who he was. He walked over to his closet and grabbed his black full length coat. Checking himself in the mirror, he made sure he was dressed to impress. While he didn't want to overdo it, he made sure that he looked nicely since he did want to catch his attention.

* * *

Tohma arrived at the bar a half an hour later and was greeted by the gentle sound of Ryuichi singing on stage. As he walked into the room, he noticed that all eyes were on the brunette as he sung his heart out on the subject of unrequited love. Once again Tohma found himself in a reverie as he listened to him sing. He sung with such raw emotion to the point that the listener felt as if they could experience his words as if it were their own.

Deciding that he better take a seat, he walked over to the bar where he was greeted by Takashi.

"I haven't seen you in a few days; Yamamoto-san has been taking it easy?"

Tohma rolled his eyes as he glanced at the stage. "No way, Taku's still the same as ever, but I've become immune to his attacks so to speak."

"Is that so…" Takashi said as his voice trailed off.

Tohma nodded as he turned back to the stage where Ryuichi was finally finishing up his number. As soon as the music died down, the audience applauded wildly. It was amusing to see how many fans he had here right now. But Tohma could honestly say that Ryuichi was no ordinary karaoke singer. He turned back around in his seat as he waited for Takashi to pour him his usual drink. He knew that at any moment, Ryuichi was going to make his way to this bar and sit down next to him. All he needed to do was to wait until that was done so he could begin to work his magic on the man.

"What's up Tohma!" Ryuichi chirped as he sat down next to the blonde. Tohma smiled as he took a sip of his sake. He wouldn't lie about the fact that he genuinely enjoyed Ryuichi company. He was intrigued by him in more ways than one and he wanted to get to know him better. But at the same time he really wanted to join the band.

"Nothing much Ryu-Chan," Tohma responded as he took another sip of his drink as he looked at the man out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh really," Ryu said as he turned to Takashi. "I'll have what he's having." He said as Takashi looked at him hesitantly.

"Ryuichi you can't hold your liquor that well, I don't think it's…"

"Aww give me a break, I'll only drink one shot." Ryuichi affirmed as he held up his index finger.

Takashi took a deep breath as he pulled out a shot glass and filled it up with sake. Although he was a bit hesitating, he slid the glass over to Ryuichi before letting out a heavy sight and walking away.

Tohma sat there as his eyes darted back between the two. Why didn't the bartender want Ryuichi to drink? It had to be more to it than him not being able to hold his liquor.

"So what brought you here again tonight?" Ryuichi asked as he chugged the shot down in one gulp. He reached over the counter and grabbed the bottle of sake and poured him another cup.

Tohma stared at him as his eyes darted towards the spot were Takashi was sitting previously.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you again," he responded honestly.

"You wanted to see me again?" Ryuichi asked in amazement as he chugged down his second shot with ease.

"Yea but…" Tohma said as he turned to Ryuichi in concern. "Should you really be drinking that much? You promised Takashi-san that you'd only drink one shot." Tohma said as he cringed at Ryu as he downed his third shot.

"Awww don't be such a party pooper Toh-chan, I don't do this often so it won't hurt."

Tohma let out a heavy sigh as he ignored the pet name once again and reached over to retrieve the bottle. But the more he leaned over, the further back Ryuichi pulled the bottle until their faces were inches apart.

"You know, you're really cute. Are you mixed?" Ryuichi asked as he stared at him closely.

Tohma looked at the man in surprise as he pulled back swiftly, while trying to hide his blush in the process. Why was he so embarrassed by the sudden closeness? It wasn't like he hadn't been asked that question before. Although that was the case, somehow this time seemed a bit different. And it had gotten under his skin like nothing had ever before.

"Sorry did I say something wrong?" Ryuichi asked as he put down the bottle and looked over at Tohma with concern.

"No…the question just caught me off guard," Tohma lied as he chugged the rest of his drink down quickly.

"Are you sure" Ryuichi asked as he reached over and placed his hand on Tohma's cheek gently turning his face towards his. The blonde was completely open to Ryuichi right now and he wasn't quite sure what was happening. No one had ever wanted to know if he was genuinely ok other than Noriko. And since she was like an older sister to him, it never had an effect on him quite like this did. At this particular moment, he was going over a sea of ideals that could possibly explain his sudden nervousness. While some would seem to fit the situation, Tohma knew they weren't right. It was no possible way he could describe how he felt right now and I in a way he didn't want to know.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine Saku…Ryuichi, I'm just feeling a bit unwell at the moment."

"Really?" Ryuichi said as he pulled away slowly. "Do you want to come to my place? I could take care of you until you feel better."

"Ryuichi he's not a pet," Takashi cut in suddenly causes both of their attention to divert towards him. Tohma felt a bit relieved at the reappearance of the bartender, while Ryuichi pouted playfully.

"I never said he was a pet," Ryuichi said as he extended his arm on the bar table and laid his head on it. "Or maybe you're just jealous," he said as he gave Takashi a slight grin.

Tohma's eyes widen a bit as he looked at Takashi waiting for an answer. This was getting interesting, and it was becoming fairly obvious why, the bartender felt that he shouldn't drink.

"I'm not jealous it's just, this is why you always get hurt. You come here and pick up any person who you think would be remotely interested in you. Once they realize that this isn't who you really are, they leave you and you're back to square one here." He said as he glared angrily at Ryuichi.

It was obvious that the words that Takashi had stated stung, and as unbelievable as it seemed, it looked as if Ryuichi wanted to cry.

"Well excuse me for not being the type that you always wanted me to be, I have my reasons."

"Sakuma-san it's time you retired for the night." Takashi stated firmly.

"What if I don't want to!" he said defiantly.

"You have no choice because I'm going to ban you for the rest of the night." He countered.

Tohma just stared on in shock at this latest development. These two sounded like an ex couple who couldn't get alone in the least bit. Deciding that he needed to break this up now, Tohma grabbed his keys as he pulled Ryuichi with him.

"No Tohma what are you doing! I want to stay." He said as he snatched his arm away.

Tohma wanted to give up because he felt that it wasn't his place to situate himself inside an ex lover's quarrel. But he really wanted to get Ryuichi out of here before any type of authorities became involved.

"Takashi you've always been this way! You want me to change but since I like being who I am you give me a hard time about it."

Tohma grabbed Ryuichi's arm and tugged him sharply as he pulled him out of the bar. He didn't want the man to say something that he would regret later on.

"Tohma let me go," Ryuichi whimpered as he struggled to get away. Tohma sighed as he continued to drag his new found friend since he wasn't putting up much of a fight. He walked over to his car and opened up the passenger door and pushed Ryuichi in into the car lightly.

"Ryuichi I'm taking you home, you need to calm down and get some rest." Tohma stated firmly as he stared down at him. Their eyes met for what it seemed like minutes before the brunette's facial expression turned from anger to sudden sadness.

"W-what's wrong?" Tohma asked as he looked at his friend in alarm. It wasn't everyday that a grown man looked like he wanted to cry after an argument with another guy, even if that other man happen to be an ex lover.

"No-nothing," Ryuichi said as he wiped his tears away quickly. "It's just…I don't want to go home tonight," he said obstinately.

"Then where do you want to go?" Tohma asked growing a bit impatient. He wasn't use to someone being so emotional; it was beginning to give him a headache. While he knew he had to deal with this for the sake of his band's future, he also felt he had to deal with it for other reasons unclear to him at the moment.

"I want to stay with you," he said as he pulled his feet into the car and shut the door and locked it.

Tohma looked on in complete astonishment, was he insane? Why did he want to stay with a stranger of all people? He didn't have time to stay out late since he had band practice in the morning. Walking over to the driver's side, Tohma climbed into the car and put the key into the ignition.

"So where do you live?" he asked through false politeness, trying to at least get his address out of him so that he could eventually drop him off at home.

"I'm not telling," Ryuichi said stubbornly.

Tohma looked over at the man in disbelief. From the looks of him, he knew he was around his age but he had to ask. "Ryuichi, how old are you?"

The man looked over at him curiously as he held up both of his hands and began to count as if he were a preschooler. Tohma couldn't believe his eyes, and from his point of view this guy looked like a complete idiot.

"I'm 20 years old!" Ryuichi said happily as if proud of himself to have been able to count that high.

Tohma leaned his head on the steering wheel as he thought of possible ways out of this solution. He was just like a little kid, if you gave him what he wanted he would remain happy. The only thing that would make him happy right now was that he spend more time with Tohma, and for the sake of the band he was going to do that.

"Okay Ryuichi, where are we going to then?"

"Your place."

The blond leaned his head back as he started up his car, to his place it was.

* * *

They arrived at his house forty-five minutes later. Parking his car and finally turning it off, Tohma looked over towards the passenger seat to find Ryuichi sound asleep. Feeling a bit lucky but a weary, Tohma was happy that the alcohol had apparently put him to sleep. It gave him time to think about new developments on his way over here. It looked like this guy wouldn't be that hard to convince, but then again if his observation was correct he would be harder. His personality constantly flip flopped whenever Tohma was around him to the point where he was beginning to wonder if the person next to him had some sort of mental disorder. It wasn't everyday that you met someone like him, and usually this would be the type Tohma would avoid completely.

Sighing out of exhaustion, Tohma reached over and nudged him. Ryuichi only mumbled and moved his position a bit. He showed no signs of waking up in the least. Feeling like it would be better if he was left to sleep, Tohma stood up and walked over to the other side of the car and opened the door. He reached down and put Ryuichi's arm around his neck as he spoke to him softly asking for him to get up. With this, he was probably going to stay half asleep, which would benefit Tohma completely.

They walked over slowly to his townhouse apartment, as he fumbled in his pocket for his keys. Upon arriving in front of his door, he unlocked it and walked in, shutting the door with his foot. He walked over to the couch and sat Ryu down on it and took off his shoes. He made a mental note that he would have to clean his floor when he woke up because he usually didn't allow shoes to step onto his main floor but this was obviously a special case.

Laying him down, Tohma walked over to his living room closet and pulled out a blanket. Walking back over to the couch, he unfolded the cloth and spread it onto the sleeping man.

Feeling like he needed to get to bed himself, he cut off the lights and made his way upstairs to his bedroom. He usually preferred to sleep naked but considering he had company downstairs, he decided to sleep only with his pajama bottoms just for tonight.

He let out a loud yawn as he climbed into his bed and cut off his lights. For a while he just laid there thinking about what had been going on. Things were getting a bit unusual, but it was better than how his lift use to be. Growing up he never was able to chose his friends or lovers. Everything always had to be approved by his parents. When looking back at everything, his friends only liked him because of his last name and when he decided to take his own path they all disappeared.

Around that time he was beginning to feel like he didn't need anyone and that having friendships were a burden until Noriko came along. She shared his passion for music and her warm personality quickly pulled Tohma out of the shell that he was building around himself. Soon after he met Taku, who at first was a really nice guy regardless of how he is now. He loved to sing and that went well with his synth playing and Noriko's keyboarding. Soon after they began to play at clubs just for something to do, but eventually they were spotted by a record label scout off the clock and convinced to sign a development deal.

Some say that you realize who your friends are when you're becoming big and that was the case with Taku. He turned from the easy-going guy that he went to college with, to a money hungry diva that felt like he had did all the hard work on his own. While it was true that Tohma was the brain of the group. He had negotiated the deal and even gotten them Kazuma Hideki, who was one of the top-notch producers in today's music industry. Taku was the heart of Nittle Grasper and he knew that all too well. While it did pain him to want to get rid of his old friend, he wasn't the same person anymore. The group hadn't even achieved its fame yet and Taku was already claiming everything as his own.

Tohma's eyes began to droop as he continued to think. He wanted to prove his father wrong and show him that he could be something other than a business man. He could still remember his father describing him as an anti-social, spoiled kid who didn't know the ways of the world. While that may have been true, he wanted to change that. When he had made friends with Noriko, he had made of point of him not being anti-social. He was just picky of who his friends were. With a last name like Seguchi, he couldn't just go around introducing himself. He would attract the wrong types of people and that was the last thing he wanted.

The same went for his lovers, who his parents always seemed to pick out for him. Throughout his life he'd had three girlfriends who all only wanted him for his name. Of course they belonged to well off families as well but there was no emotion involved. Tohma hadn't developed any feelings for any of them and he was going to keep it that way. If Noriko hadn't decided to be an older sister figure to Tohma, he sometimes wondered if she would have been his first love.

He yawned loudly as he closed his eyes slowly, that was one of the things he would never know.

* * *

He felt like he'd only been asleep for a couple of minutes when he suddenly felt someone climbing onto his bed and sliding underneath his covers. Sometimes Noriko came over at night because she'd had some dumb nightmare so sometimes he paid it no mind. The figured laid their head on Tohma's chest as they cuddled up to him, wrapping their arm around his waist. On simple reaction, Tohma wrapped his arm around their neck as he positioned his head on theirs. While he was half asleep something seemed off, the smell was different than Noriko's and the chest area was extremely flat. Before he could react, he felt the figure move up till his chest was on Tohma's.

Opening his eyes slowly, he noticed Ryuichi staring down at him as he leaned in and kissed his cheek. Tohma was too tired to protest but he wish he would have been. That kiss sent him blushing more extreme than he did at the bar, which caused him to wake up a bit more.

"Ryuichi what are you doing?" He asked hoarsely as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

Ryuichi grinned softly as he placed his index finger on Tohma's lips. "Shhh, I won't do anything I promise," he said as he kissed the tip of the blonde's nose. "I just wanted to sleep with you that's all." He reassured.

Tohma let out a loud yawn as he nodded and closed his eyes once more. Sleeping wasn't bad, but then again he had no energy to protest so why not let things be?

He found himself falling back into a deep sleep when suddenly, something he never expected to happen, occurred. He felt Ryuichi's lips pressed softly against his own and while he was a bit surprised, he didn't have an extreme negative reaction like he thought he would. Instead, he found himself responding to the kiss by wrapping his arms around Ryuichi's neck and pulling him in closer. He knew that he was in need of affection and right now he didn't care where he got it from as long as that person liked him. He felt Ryuichi climb on top of him and straddle his hips as he began to grind into him causing a soft moan to escape Tohma's lips.

He had never been with anyone like this, nor had he ever attempted to kiss someone as passionate as this. But this was something that he'd been longing for when it finally hit him.

He stopped kissing Ryuichi in a panic as he pushed him off of him, causing the man to fall to the floor with a loud thump.

"Wh-what the hell is going on?" he asked in a panic as he looked of his pajama top. He'd never expected this to happen, how could he make out with a guy? He wasn't gay, at least he wasn't yesterday and why did that have to change today. He looked around until he found his pajama top. He picked that up and ran downstairs and grabbed his keys and his coat, he needed to get away for a bit and think about what had just happened.

End chapter


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The same as the last two chapters

A/N: Thank you everyone for reviewing chapter 2! I hope you like this chapter. And sorry it's so short. I didn't realize how short it was until now but I've been at work all day and I'm too tired to add more but chapter four will be a lot longer promise.

Chapter 3: Feel

Tohma banged on Noriko's door loudly as he struggled to catch his breath. Things were getting out of control and he didn't know of any way to manage them. First he was going out of his way to soften Ryuichi up so he could convince him to join. Then he allowed the man to sleep over his house which ultimately led up to the unfortunate incident that happened nearly an hour ago. The more he thought about what went on between the two, the more he began to question himself. He'd never felt that way when he had kissed previous girls, how could a guy make him feel like that? He had tried to convince himself that he didn't like it but the more he tried to tell himself other wise, the more he wish he wouldn't have ran off. What if Ryuichi left and never showed up to the bar again? Not only would that be a downfall for Nittle Grasper, but he could feel himself feeling a bit down at the thought.

He could hear Noriko fumbling inside of her apartment as she struggled to get to the door. If anyone could calm her down it would ultimately be her. But how could he explain to her his reason for sudden appearance but he needed some advice on the situation.

"Whoever this is you better be dying or I'm going to kill you," she shouted angrily as she opened the door to find Tohma standing there.

"Toh-ma?" she asked as she opened up the door slowly and stared at him inquisitively. "Why didn't you just use your spare?" She asked as she moved aside to let him walk in the door.

"Because…I left it at home, I was in a hurry to leave." He responded as he walked into the apartment quickly. Forgetting that Noriko was never the neat type, he found himself tripping over a few items on her floor along his way to her couch. Along the while, Noriko stared at him strangely, as she shut the door and leaned back against it.

"What's going on? You're acting a bit off tonight." She asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

Tohma just sat there as he calmed himself down. Why had he run over here in a panic? Things weren't as bad as he thought they were. He knew that he was over-reacting a bit but the last thing he thought he would be doing is making out with a guy he met in the karaoke bar. He let out a frustrated sigh as he ruffled his hair as if it would help his thoughts sort out better. "Noriko, remember that singer I told you about?" he asked while staring at the floor.

Noriko raised her brow skeptically at the question, as she unfolded her arms. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to Tohma. "Yea I remember you telling me about him, why?"

"Well…" Tohma began as he took a deep breath. He wanted to ask for advice so that he would feel better about everything. "He's over at my place right now."

Noriko moved away slightly as she let out a fake gasp. "Tohma you dirty slut, you've already slept with him?"

The blonde's eyes opened widely as he looked up at his friend. She was smiling at him obviously amused by her own humor. While he knew she was kidding, she was closer to the facts than she knew. "No…well…"

"Well?" she responded, trying to coax him into finishing his sentence.

"Well, you weren't…that far off." He finished.

"Are you serious?" she asked as she moved closer to Tohma and observed his face.

"Well he climbed into my bed and I didn't think too much of it because you do that sometimes." He started as he sat back on the couch and leaned his head back. He closed his eyes as he saw everything clearly, like it was happening right before his eyes. "At first he just laid his head on my chest and wrapped his arm around my waist. It was nothing special, but then…"

"He kissed you?" Noriko wheedled.

"Yes, and I began to kiss him back. The next thing I knew he was straddling me and grinding against me and I was moaning." Tohma said as she sat up and stared at Noriko. "That's when I realized what I was doing and with a guy no less."

"Oh Tohma," Noriko replied as she pulled him into a gentle hug.

"But that's not all," he continued while taking a deep breath. "Nori, I liked every moment of it." He said as he looked up at her. She looked down at him and kissed his forehead sweetly.

"Then why are you in a panic over it?"

"Well because, it was the first time that has ever happened to me and I felt something other than the usual. And besides, he's our future lead vocalist; I can't monopolize that for some physical pleasure."

Noriko nodded as she chuckled a bit. She let Tohma go as she looked at him with a small smile. "Well then, go over and make up with him before he runs away. He's probably freaking out and has even most likely left by now."

Tohma nodded as he stood up slowly. He had to go back and make up with Ryu for Nittle Grasper and himself. He was really starting to think of him as a friend even though they'd only had very few encounters. He seemed like he could be someone that Tohma could depend on almost as much as he depended on Noriko.

"Okay, I'm going to head back. Sorry for waking you up at this hour."

"No problem kid, just get back there and make up with him." Noriko said as she stood up and walked him to the door. She opened it and watched him walk out calmly, the most she could do and wish him good luck. While the turn of events was a bit shocking, it was nice that Tohma had found him someone whether he realized it or not. She shut the door calmly as she leaned back against it.

"I guess I can tell Kyoko that he's off the market now." She said as she let out a heavy sigh and went back to bed.

* * *

Tohma arrived home about an hour later and he still hadn't come up with a way to apologize to the singer. He didn't want it to sound too rehearsed but then again he wasn't use to apologizing to people very often. It was a lot he wasn't use to doing and that made him hate his upbringing more and more. Interacting with 'normal' people was a challenge for him. Since he'd always been presented everything on a silver platter by his parents, he didn't have to learn how to act a certain way because people liked him regardless. But with these people around him currently, he knew he had to be considerate of their feelings. Maybe that's why he acted the way he did towards Taku. He wasn't use to people opposing him and Taku was doing just that. But not only that, he was trying to take things for his own while Tohma had worked so hard to establish the group's foundation. And since he'd never worked in his life, him putting his all into this and then having someone try and steal the credit really pissed him off.

Tohma took a deep breath as he decided he was going to go in and say whatever came to mind. Ryuichi was a nice person and Tohma was positive he would be fine with just a sincere apology. Pulling his keys out of the ignition and stepping out of the car, he made his way up to his door and unlocked it quietly. He opened the door slowly as he noticed all the lights were turned off. A sudden wave of panic overcame him as he realized Ryuichi must have felt bad about what had happened and left. Walking in and shutting the door, Tohma took off his shoes in a hurry and ran into the living room. What he saw made his heart rate slow down instantly. Ryuichi was lying on the couch sleeping as if nothing had happened. The blonde could feel himself smiling warmly as he watched the figure.

He walked over to the couch slowly and kneeled down beside it. He could hear Ryuichi snoring lightly, which made it obvious he had been out for a while. Tohma studied his face as he made himself more comfortable beside him. He looked so angelic sleeping like he didn't have a care in the world. He slept with his lips pouted which made things a bit awkward. Tohma kept thinking about the kiss that they'd shared early and wondered what it would have felt like if he'd continued.

His fingers caressed Ryu's cheek as he leaned in and kissed his forehead. He had no idea what he was feeling, but he knew that he didn't want to leave his side. Why had these two come together the way that they did? And why did Tohma feel like without him he would feel a void? They hadn't known each other for very long and this very feeling scared the blonde. All he knew is that he sincerely cared for the sleeping man. But then again it was hard not to care about him since he was kind, playful; naïve and completely open to other people. He wore his emotions out on his sleeve and that was something he always wanted himself. In a way Ryuichi possessed some qualities that Tohma himself wish he had.

He sighed softly as he leaned in and kissed his friend's lips gently. It was now clear to him on why he wanted Ryuichi in the band, and his hidden motive had suddenly gained another agenda.

End Chapter

A/N: Do I make Tohma sound like a love sick teenager? Sorry but I thought the last part was sweet lol.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation or pony canyon records

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! And once again I apologize for the short chapter. What was I thinking? And about chapter 5, I'm working on it. But I work two jobs so its taking some time. I can say it's going to be a Ryuichi POV and it's going to give you insight on his background . Okay now enjoy chapter 4!

Chapter 4: Reformed

Tohma woke up the next morning to the smell of food cooking downstairs in his kitchen. He sat up slowly as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes and stretched thoroughly. For a few minutes he even sat in his bed in a daze and stared at the wall until he was completely ready to wake up. That's how almost every morning went. Sometimes when Noriko came over, his time was cut in half. But fortunately for him, his spunky band mate looked as if she wasn't coming today.

He flopped back down on his bed as he stared up at the ceiling for a few more seconds when suddenly it hit him. Who was cooking breakfast right now? And not just any breakfast. He sniffed the air as he sat up quickly. It smelled like food he used to eat when he lived in Los Angeles with his parents. Finally deciding to get out of bed, he knew that this could mean two different things. Feeling that he should go downstairs and take a look, he put on his robe and slippers and made his way downstairs and into his kitchen.

When he arrived in there he was greeted by the always chirpy Ryuichi and Noriko who was sitting at the table reading one of her many fashion magazines.

"Good Morning Tohma!" Ryuichi exclaimed as he took the last pancake out of the skillet.

"So he finally woke up. I told you that would do the job Ryu-Chan." Noriko said as she smiled at the cook.

Tohma's eyes darted back and forth between the two before he finally took a seat at the kitchen table. As he did, Ryuichi slid a plate in front of the blonde that contained, three blueberry pancakes, one sunny side up egg, two strips of bacon and four sausage links. Tohma was impressed to say the least. Not only had he cooked his favorite meal, but it looked edible unlike Noriko's.

"Th-thank you." Tohma said as he reached over to the middle of the table and grabbed the pitcher of orange juice. He picked up the glass cup beside his plate and filled it up until it was half full.

"No problem," Ryuichi said as he handed Noriko her plate with a smaller serving. "I love to cook western food so I was fine with doing this." He said as he took the skillet and put it in the sink.

Tohma stared down at the food as he prepared to take a bit. But something was bugging him, so he had to ask. "Ryuichi, how did you know what my favorite breakfast was?" He asked as he glanced over at him.

The man looked over at Tohma and grinned widely. "Hi-mi-tsu." He replied as he winked. Noriko couldn't help but to giggle while Tohma smirked. He looked back down at the food and said a simple prayer for it he noticed Ryu getting ready to sit down next to him.

Tohma eyed him as he sat down near him. "Ryuichi-san…I'm."

"No need to tell me, I know." He said as he gave Tohma a wink and a smile.

"You do?" he asked in surprise.

Ryuichi nodded as his grin became bigger. "Last night when you came in…" He began as he raised his index finger to his bottom lip. "I wasn't really asleep." He exclaimed as Tohma choked on his orange juice.

Noriko looked over at the two and it was written all over her face stating that she wanted to know what Ryuichi meant.

"W-why didn't you open your eyes or say something?" He asked looked at his friend.

"Because, I liked how nice Tohma was being to me. So I decided to play sleep until you went upstairs." He replied.

Tohma began to turn bright red at the thought of him doing those things to Ryu while he was still awake. But at least now he knew, or at least had a clue to how Tohma felt about him. Even though right now, he wasn't sure himself what he was feeling.

"Is Tohma embarrassed because I know that you kissed me when you thought I was asleep?" he asked curiously.

This time it was Noriko's turn to spit out her orange juice. "Wow I see you decided to go all the way huh Tohma?" she asked as she grabbed a napkin to wiped her lips and the spot where some of the juice landed on.

Ryuichi looked at the two curiously not knowing what they were talking about. "It was just…I was caught up in the moment that's all." He said as he pretended to pay more attention to his food than the conversation.

"Really?" Noriko asked coolly. She eyed him and decided to change the subject. "So Ryuichi, I heard from Tohma that you like to sing."

Ryuichi nodded as he chewed his pancakes. When he swallowed them he sat his fork down. "Yea I love to sing! I go to the karaoke bar often." He said with a smile.

"Really? Have you considered going Pro?" she asked in a business like tone.

"Pro?" he said as he thought about it. "Not really." He finally answered.

"Well, what if you had an opportunity? Would you take it?"

"I don't know…I guess it depends." He answered as he suddenly became serious. "Why are you asking?"

"Well, Tohma and I are in this band together and the current lead singer isn't harmonizing with the group so well. So we were on the hunt for a new one."

"Do you guys have a deal? Or is it a club band type of thing?" he asked.

Tohma stopped his eating and wiped his mouth. This was where he was going to cut in. "Actually Ryuichi, we've been signed to a development deal with Pony canyon records. We've only been developing our sound for a few weeks but our lead singer has gotten out of control. If this keeps up Nittle Grasper will be done for before we can began. And since the singer is our heart we need someone who is talented but can keep their ego under check."

"Nittle Grasper huh?" Ryuichi said to himself as he leaned back in his chair. "So right now you haven't developed your sound yet, nor have you cut a track?"

"Not yet," Noriko responded seriously.

"And what about this lead singer you currently have? Does he know about your quest to replace him?" He asked as he stared at Tohma.

"No…but then again he probably wouldn't care since he thinks he's the band anyway. He's not cut out for this type of business. I'm not saying he won't possibly be a great solo artist, but he shouldn't be in a band."

"Hmmm. Okay I'll join under one condition." He said as he held up his index finger.

"And that is?" Tohma asked curiously.

"I get to help write the lyrics to the songs. But of course I will come to you guys to make sure everything's cool." He said as he looked at the two.

"Sounds good to me," Tohma said as he looked at Noriko.

"Same here," she said as she cracked a smile.

"Okay then, when do we hit the studio," Ryuichi exclaimed happily.

* * *

The three individuals entered the building not knowing what obstacle they would have to deal with in order to get Taku to leave. But right about now they didn't care. Tohma and Noriko had gone through so much and now they were finally going to get the band that they had both worked so hard to start up.

They made their way up to the fourteenth floor and into the studio. Even though they were twenty minutes early, Taku was already there singing a song that none of them had agreed on. Tohma took a deep breath as he stared over at Kazuma who was giving was busy eyeing Ryuichi.

Tohma walked over to the couch near the back of the room while Ryuichi and Noriko followed him. Sitting his suitcase on the table, he pulled out a copy of the contract that the group had signed.

"Kazuma-san," Tohma said politely. "We would like to speak to you about an important matter that you've been aware of for some time." The blonde said as he smiled coolly.

The producer nodded as he disrupted Taku's music. "Nee Taku, let's take ten okay?" he asked as he got up and walked over to join the trio. Taku looked at every distrustfully as he came out of the sound room and into the studio. He walked over to the group and sat down next to Kazu as he stared at everyone, but his eyes seemed to linger on Ryuichi.

"Who are you?" he asked sternly but in a composed tone.

Ryuichi smiled brightly as he stared at Taku. "I'm Ryuichi! You must be Taku." He said as he gave a slight wave.

Tohma glared over at Taku ready to do anything if he tried to insult his friend.

"Kazuma-san, this morning before we came in the three of us looked over this contract with my lawyer to make sure there wasn't anything that would effect our situation, which I'm positive you're fully aware of." He said as he pulled out the contract and handed it to the producer. "This document states that we as a band are obligated to make any decisions that would better our status and guide us towards making an official contract with Pony Canyon Records. That means if we have to make member changes, or changes to our sound as a whole that would be fine as long as we don't break any of the following thirty stipulations on which we signed and agreed upon. Simply meaning we are not allowed to defect to another corporation or sign any other contracts until our development stage is over. It also states that ANY changes are allowed and no individual member is can simply make decisions on their own without consulting the other members of the band. If that member decides to do so without official consultation with the other members he or she is in violation of stipulation number twenty-five and therefore can be forced to leave group. If that member refuses to leave the group in the best interest of the band he can be kicked out forcefully. The main focus of this contract and this development deal is to maintain the harmony of the group and establish a common goal and sound." He said as he stared at Taku, while Ryuichi clapped and Noriko nodded.

"Yamamoto Takuya, you officially violated stipulation twenty-five after knowingly reading over the contract and signing your name on the dotted line. It is in the best interest of the band that you leave this studio at once and don't come back. Legally we are allowed to remove you from the roster of our band without you receiving any type of royalties since our sound has not been officially established. Also since I, Seguchi Tohma legally own the name Nittle Grasper, you can not lawfully take any one in this company to court trying to prove other wise. As for the lyrics that you wrote, those are yours and we will not be used since they are your property." He finished as he crossed his legs and smirked over at his former friend.

Ryuichi nodded as Noriko looked on coolly. Taku on the other hand wasn't taken this as well. While no one thought he would. It was obvious that he was going to lose his temper at any moment now.

"Well that's how it is. As the producer I have to support this contract and Nittle Grasper's opinion. I can honestly vouch that you were making decisions on your own but it wasn't my place to call that out to light. So now that they have brought in the contract and precisely stated that you have been in violation of it's stipulation you have to leave the studio as soon as you can Yamamoto-san." Kazuma said as he stood up. "Tohma, I'll go and run the same contract and bring it back for the new guy to sign." He said as he walked out of the room quietly.

Taku continued to glare at the three as Tohma smirked over at him. "You need to leave now so that we can get to work." He said coldly. His usual warm blue eyes stared at Taku sharply as he gave him one of the iciest smiles he'd ever had.

"Tohma you bastard, this guy isn't shit. Nittle Grasper's going to sink fast without me, you need me!" he exclaimed as he stood up while glaring at Ryuichi. "Look at him, he's an idiot that doesn't have a clue what's going on around him. How can anyone stand to work with him? And as for you and Noriko, if it wasn't for me we wouldn't have this development deal. You two were just the backup but I'm the star. Without me you'll get dumped after this development deal is over." He said as he walked over and grabbed his jacket.

Tohma's smiled became a looked of hatred as he stood up and walked over to Taku. He grabbed his arm as soon as the man grabbed his jacket. "Taku, if you ever insult our new vocalist again you'll have hell to pay. If you try to injury him or harass him after you leave this room I'll make sure you wish you never crossed me." He said as he squeezed his wrist tighter.

"Tohma you're fucking crazy," He exclaimed as he snatched his wrist away and walked towards the door. "Well you'll find out if that assumption is true or not if you try to harm him or Noriko." He said as he smiled and waved. "Good-bye Taku, It was nice knowing you."

* * *

It had been three days since Taku had been dismissed and things already seemed to be getting better. Ryuichi had given Kazuma several of his poems that could possibly be made into songs. They were agreeing on things and being able to come to team conclusions unlike before.

Ryuichi just clicked with everyone, and they were happy to have him on the team. But at the end of that day, everyone was tired and wanted to go home. They'd never been in the studio for such a long time and after getting so much done in such a short time, they deserved a bit of a break.

Tohma made his way to his car as he said goodbye to Noriko and Kazuma. Ryuichi tailed behind him quietly, not really in the need to talk. Tohma on the other hand felt good and had the need to go out for a drink but upon seeing Ryu's face decided not to. It was obvious he wasn't use to this type of thing and needed to go to bed. Walking up to his car and opening his door, he unlocked the vocalist's side and watched him climb into the car, flopping down onto the seat.

"Ryuichi, do you want to go home?" Tohma asked as he watched the boy's eyes droop.

"No," he said softly. "Let's go to your place," he responded with a yawned.

Tohma nodded as he started up the car and drove off. For the past couple of days he'd been back and forth between his and Noriko's place. So it was considerable that he would want to go back to Tohma's. His thoughts wondered on where he could possibly sleep. He was positive that sleeping on the couch was a bit uncomfortable and the only other place was his bed.

"Nee Ryu-Chan."

"Yea?" he responded half-asleep.

"You wouldn't mind…well if you don't want to sleep on the couch…"

"Yea, sure I'll sleep in the bed." He responded before nodding off again.

Tohma looked over a bit surprise but then brushed it off. Why was he so nervous when it was just him and Ryuichi? He took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down. He was usually so calm and collected but around him, he let almost every defense down. It was probably because he was so carefree and easy to get along with. Or maybe it was because he didn't judge people too easily. Whatever it was, it made being around Ryuichi a lot more comforting.

He finally arrived at his townhouse not too long after. But by this time, Ryuichi was already completely asleep and the last thing he wanted to do was wake him up but he had no choice. Nudging his friend lightly, Tohma sat there until he finally came to.

"Ryuichi we're at my place now," he said as he opened his door and got out of it. He walked over to his friend's side and opened it slowly. Ryuichi climbed out looking very groggy. They both walked to the door and finally went inside. Ryuichi headed straight upstairs while Tohma went into the living room. He wasn't all that tired yet and decided he would watch TV until he was.

Hours went by and soon it was 3am and yet he still wasn't tired. His eyes darted towards the stairs and he contemplated on going to bed. The group had to head to the studio tomorrow afternoon so it was about time he made his way up. Figuring that Ryuichi was most likely in a deep sleep by now, he turned off his TV and headed upstairs.

When he got there, the lights to his room was off and the only light that shined was the moon itself. He could barely see Ryuichi sleeping on the bed peacefully but that was all he needed to see. Walking over to the closet he changed into his pajama pants and then eased his way into the bed. Ryuichi had his back towards Tohma so the blonde decided to sleep on his back.

"Tohma," Ryuichi said in a hoarse whisper.

"You're still awake?"

"No, I woke up when you got into bed," he said as he turned around and stared at the blonde. Or rather his eyes were adjusting as he squinted at Tohma.

"Oh, I'm sorry I thought you were a heavy sleeper," he said as he stared at the ceiling.

"It's okay," Ryuichi responded as he scooted closer.

Tohma could feel his heart beat speeding up as his friend inched closer to him. He had gotten himself into this by inviting him into his bed, now he would have to deal with being close to him. While he wasn't complaining about it, it would take some getting use to.

"Hey Tohma?"

"Yea?"

Ryuichi scooted closer until their faces were centimeters apart. He reached up and gently moved Tohma's countenance to face his own. Without warning he leaned in and pressed his lips against the blonde's softly. Tohma stiffen at the gesture but he dared not to pull away. The kiss that he was receiving, was short and sweet. He was disappointed when his friend pulled back a few seconds later. "I just wanted to return that from the other day." He responded as he laid his head on Tohma's chest.

Even though it was dark, Tohma could feel himself turning redder by the second. He didn't want the kiss to stop at just that, he wanted it to go on. Kissing Ryuichi was more than that to him, but at the same time maybe he shouldn't feel that way. They were friends and band mates after all. The last thing he wanted to do was make his friend feel uncomfortable in any way.

He wrapped his arm around Ryuichi's shoulders as he pulled him closer. It was now or never for him to be bold and now couldn't be a better time. He pulled him up until they were as close as they were before. Ryuichi's heart beat was pumping as fast as his as they both stared at each other. The only sounds that each person could hear were the rapid beating of their hearts and their shallow breaths. He wanted to pull away but he felt that it was already too late. Hesitation on Tohma's part was beginning to show its face when Ryuichi decided to take the initiative and kiss him.

Their lips met once again but in a more passionate lock than the previous time. Ryuichi was hungry for affection and he had been holding back for days. It was obvious that Tohma had wanted him the same way but was in a bit of denial. So Ryuichi had bided his time and waited until the blonde even looked like he considered making the first move. And finally he did but only to stop mid way out of fear.

Fear of what? fear of being with someone whose the same as him. He feared what others felt as well. Tohma looked like the type of person who cared what others thought about him while Ryuichi was the opposite. If that was the only thing holding Tohma back, then they could work on that. But for right now, they were in their own world and no one could interrupt them.

Ryuichi deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into Tohma's entrance. He could hear the blonde moaning softly as he held Ryu even closer. His hands roamed over Ryuichi's cheeks and to the back of his head. The vocalist could feel Tohma quivering with pleasure as his hands roamed over his washboard stomach then up to his chest. Every time Ryuichi touched him, he had such a virginal reaction to everything. It was obvious he'd never experience pleasure on this level. Being with someone you cared for was a feeling that few get to encounter.

Pulling away to take a breath, the brunette took off his shirt as he climbed on top of Tohma and straddled his waist. He could feel Tohma's cock on his and wanted nothing more than to make love to him right then and there but he had to take his time. This was new to him and the last thing he wanted to do was to make a bad impression.

Leaning back down again, this time Ryuichi softly grabbed both sides of Tohma's face and kissed him a great deal gentler than before. His tongue roamed the blonde's mouth as he glided it against his causing him to let out another moan. He felt Tohma's hips moving underneath his as he began to grind against him slowly. Ryuichi wanted to moan but he knew he had to keep his composure for a bit longer. Grinding against him back, he traced his left arm down to Tohma's pants when suddenly the blonde pulled away.

"Ryuichi…"

"I know I know," he said with a giggle. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do." He responded as he kissed him one last time before climbing off of him. Ryuichi was just happy that they'd gotten over that first hump.

End Chapter


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation but I do own Takashi Kiriya

_A/N: First of all THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I'm really happy that you guys like my story. And __**SisterOfTheOrichalcos **I have "welcome to my romance" and I absolutely love that song! Thanks for offering to send it to me though. _

_Ryuichi's POV yay! It's from before he met Tohma all the way up until what happened recently I hope you enjoy. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and the following ones. While its ansty (personally I can't handle a lot of angst so why did I go this route I don't know) it's still good. Though I didn't intend on all of this being in there but I guess it's a good thing when your story takes on a mind of its own right? Enough of my talk though! And if anyone reading this story is a Sadomasochist I mean no offense really! so please don't get angry or anything! Or flame me for saying I'm wrong about a few things. Since I'm not a sadomasochist I can only get my information from research sorry. And if any other material offends anyone I'm really sorry okay. _

Chapter 5: Silent Melody Part 1

Ryuichi sat in the studio as he stared around at everyone. Things seemed to be getting in order with the band, and they were getting closer and closer to the release of their first single. Everything seemed to be going well for him right now, but something was wrong. Everyone was being so nice to him the he didn't know for sure if anyone cared about him or not. While he tried to fight that feeling with all his might, his mind couldn't help but to wonder.

Were they just using him to get a record deal? Was that the reason that Tohma had been so nice to him in the first place? Those thoughts made his skin crawl. But then again it wasn't like he expected people to really like him.

His momma had told him once that he was unwanted and would never be of any use to anyone. Throughout the years Ryuichi slowly began to realize that and now he was fully aware. It's just that for a minute he was starting to think that maybe Tohma and Noriko did need him. In a way they did, they needed him in order to get this deal. But what happens afterwards? Would they just throw him away like they did Takuya-san?

Ryuichi lifted his fingers up to his mouth and began to bite on them slightly. He was always told not to expect much so he never did. However, for some reason this time he had gotten his hopes up but he should have knew better.

His dark brown eyes roamed the studio as he watched Tohma inside of the sound booth. He was arranging the beats on his synthesizer for the new song Ryuichi had just written. He was so focused on that where he didn't notice anything else.

Ryuichi let out a loud sigh as he stood up and walked over to the door to make his exit. He needed to think about some things and doing them here wasn't working for him.

"Ryu-Chan where are you going?" Noriko asked.

Ryuichi turned around and gave her a weak smile. Usually he would pretend to be his childish other half and fool everyone into thinking he was okay because his problems weren't that big of a deal. While this problem wasn't colossal it did bother him. "I'm going out for a bit to get a drink," he said as he opened the door and walked out without waiting for an answer.

As he shut the door behind him he let out a loud exhale. Now that he was out of there he would be able to think a bit clearer. His thoughts were racing excessively until he realized he was standing in front of his usual haven. This karaoke bar had saved him from a lot of misery. While people joked about his reasons for appearing here, he didn't pay it any mind. He just wanted people to know his pain, so he sung every poem he wrote to the audience.

He let out a small chuckle as he walked into the bar and spotted Takashi behind the bar table. Upon instinct he ran up to the bar and sat down promptly. He stared over at Taka with an apologetic smile as the man stared back at him.

"Don't think you can get off with just a smile this time," he said as he looked away and began to clean a glass cup.

"Taka-Chan you know I'm sorry. I shouldn't have drinked that much that night." He said as his placed his index finger on the table and began to trace it around in a circle.

The bartender grinned and Ryuichi knew that he had softened him up. A small smile appeared on Ryu's lips as he looked at Taka. He had dyed brown hair that was highlighted with honey blonde. His hazel brown eyes always made him feel at ease anytime Takashi stared at him. When they'd first met Ryuichi had asked him if he was mixed. And it turned out he was. While his hair was artificial, his eyes were real. Ryuichi had never seen such pretty eyes, and he knew he wanted Takashi. They were lovers for a short while, but it turned out that he couldn't handle his mood swings. It wasn't Ryuichi's fault he was like that; he hadn't exactly had a happy childhood. However still, he had his reasons for leaving. But to Ryuichi's surprise, Takashi wanted to remain friends and so could help the singer work through his problems. And so it was agreed, but looking at it now, it seemed that Ryu would never work through his problems.

"Ryuichi is there something wrong?" Takashi asked as he stopped washing glasses and looked over at the singer. His hazel eyes stared at Ryuichi in concern as the the singer stared at him back. Most days he felt like he could get lost in those eyes for many reasons. When Takashi looked at him, it was more than just that. His ex lover was like an open book. His eyes were the doorway to his soul. If you wanted to know his every emotion his eyes gave them away. And that's what Ryuichi loved about him. He didn't have to constantly guess about how Takashi felt, all he had to do was look at him. Sometimes he even wished that he could be with Takashi once again. While he knew that Takashi would possibly reconsider now, Ryuichi knew that if he did, he would possibly hurt his friend again. Ryu exhaled loudly as he diverted his eyes away from Takashi. He knew thinking like this was wrong, and that Tohma cared about him. Takashi cared about him without having any ulterior motives. Tohma had one from the start and along the way he began to care, but Takashi…

"Can I come to your place tonight?" he asked as he looked down at the table. He was exhausted and no one made him feel better than Takashi. No matter who they were he always was there and had no problems being.

"Sure," he replied as he stroked Ryuichi's head affectionately. "Do you want to talk about things now or later?"

"Later," he answered as he sat his head down on the table.

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_Aoi opened his eyes gradually as the sunlight shined brightly into his room. He sat up slowly as he yawned and slowly wiped the sleep out of his eyes. It was another day that he wish hadn't came, but to his disappointment here he was. He moved over to the edge of his bed and gradually stood up. He was in no hurry to see his mama and papa so he was going to take his time._

_"AOI, YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND GET DOWN HERE NOW!"_

_The boy flinched at the sound of his papa's deep booming voice. He had did something wrong again. But then again that meant that they were going to show him how much they loved him again. While he knew they did what they did to him out of love, why did it have to hurt so much? He had always heard that people who loved another were gentle with that person. Instead his parents chose to hit him and do other things to hurt him. And in the end they would tell him it was because they loved him._

_Aoi put on his house shoes as he reached down and was about to pick up his shirt when suddenly his side began to scream out in pain. He let out a loud yep as he fell to his knees and tried to clutch the source of his pain. But when he tried it hurt even more, so he just continued to kneel down and wait the pain out until it began to stop. _

_He sat there for what seemed like minutes before he finally decided to stand back up. He was hurting, but that was everyday that something like this happened so it wasn't a big deal. _

_Slipping on his pajama top and buttoning it up, he walked out of his door and made his way downstairs. He could hear his parents at each other's throats as he approached the bottom of the stairwell. This was everyday for him so it was completely normal for things to be this way. If things weren't he would feel that something was wrong, and it was better off not feeling that way._

_He made his way into the kitchen and he spotted his parents, sitting down but still arguing as if he hadn't walked into the room._

Smile and say good morning._ He told himself as he stared at the two individuals. "Good morning mama and papa," he said as he sat down and continued to smile. When he smiled it helped lighten things up a bit when they were together. But sometimes it had the opposite effect on everything._

_"Why are you so happy boy?" his dad asked as he glared at_ him_ suspiciously. _

_Aoi's brown eyes shifted to his papa's as his smiled dropped slightly. "No-nothing special, I'm just a bit excited about my first day of high school that's all." He said as he looked down at his plate uncomfortably. This was how it always started, why did he have to get adopted by these people. But then again if he hadn't been, he would have stayed in that orphanage forever and that was something he also didn't want._

_"You better not get in trouble boy, or you know what'll happen," his dad said as he picked up his paper and began to read it._

_"Yes sir," Aoi said as he said his grace before picking up his chopsticks._

_"What did I tell you about that Aoi! We're not Christian so don't go on acting like one! If you do that again…" His mother stated before reaching over suddenly and slapping him suddenly across the face. _

_When the blow landed, Aoi could see a bright flash and then a great deal of pain. The taste of blood evaded his senses as he realized that the inside of his cheek had been punctured by his tooth. He wanted to cry out but he knew if he did he would only be rewarded by another hit._

_"I'm sorry mama, I'll never do it again," he responded as he pretended that the slap didn't hurt. _

_She nodded as her features softened and she reached over to his cheek. "I'm sorry Aoi sweetie, I just want to teach you right from wrong before you go out into the world," she said as she caressed his cheek softly. "You know mama only punishes you because I love you right?"_

_Aoi nodded as he smiled slightly. He knew that she loved him so whenever she hit him he took it and let it go. "I know mama."_

_

* * *

_

_Aoi ran quickly as he tried to make it to school on time. It would be bad if he missed his entrance ceremony. He didn't want to make a bad impression with the teachers or anything. He continued to run as he came across another boy who wore the same school uniform as his. It was a royal blue blazer with a white shirt and a blue and white tie with the same colored pants. Aoi ran a bit faster to catch up to the boy so that they could make it on time together. As he approached the guy, he spoke without looking over at him._

_"At least I know that I'm not the only one running late," he joked as he continued to run. _

_The boy didn't look at him but he cracked a smile at Aoi. "Yea my mom forgot to wake me up this morning can you believe that?" he responded as he continued to run._

_"It happens man, my problem was a bit similar," Aoi lied as the two ran until they finally reached the gate. _

_To their good fortune, some people were still lingering outside so they it meant that the ceremony hadn't even started yet. _

_"Yes we made it! And here I was thinking that we were going to be late," the boy said as he stretched and smiled brightly._

_Aoi agreed as he straightened out his blazer. _

_"I'm Kiriya Takashi," the boy turned to Aoi and bowed slightly._

_"Oh," he said in surprise. He wasn't expecting the guy to introduce himself but then again he was a bit happy. "I'm Ito Aoi, nice to meet you." He said as he bowed as well._

_Takashi grinned as he gave Aoi a thumb up. That was when Aoi noticed his eyes. They weren't black like everyone else. They were hazel. While it was his first time seeing that eye color, he thought it was unique and wished he had that eye color so he would stand out._

_"I like your eyes…" Aoi said as he stared closely. "Are they contacts?" he asked curiously._

_"No…" said he looked away. "They're real."_

_"Really!" Aoi responded, "I wish my eyes were that color," he said as he looked away. _

_Takashi looked Aoi in surprise as he cracked a small smile. He was about to respond when suddenly a voice boomed over the loud speaker telling everyone that the opening ceremony was about to begin for the freshmen._

_"Come on let's go," Aoi said as he began to run towards the building. _

_Takashi nodded as he followed behind._

_

* * *

_

_The school day had gone by quickly and before Aoi knew it, the final bell had rung and he was on his out of the building. He walked outside to find everyone rushing to get home. While he wanted to go home, he wasn't in a rush to. He knew when he arrived there he would be forced to stay in his room and not go back out for the rest of the day. Although he knew he didn't have any friends to hang out with, it would be nice to actually go out on days like this._

_A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he paced himself with slow strides. He knew he would be punished if he took too long but this time it would definitely be worth it._

_"Yo Aoi," a voice called from behind._

_The brunette turned around to find himself staring at his hazel eye friend. "Takashi-kun," he responded with a hint of surprise that was over shadowed with a slight smile._

_Takashi smiled as he ran up to him and wrapped his arm around Aoi's neck. "wanna grab something to eat before heading home?" he asked._

_Aoi frowned at the invitation. He wanted to go but he knew if he did… "I don't have the money to get anything," he responded._

_"Don't worry about that it's my treat today. But you better pay me back eventually," he said as he let go of Aoi and grinned. "But you won't have three years to do that so no need to rush."_

_Aoi, smiled softly as he looked at Takashi, maybe for the first time he could have a friend. Although his parents wouldn't be too thrilled but who said they had to know? It would be his little secret from now on. _

_00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

Ryuichi yawned as he sat up quickly. He rolled his eyes as he looked over at his cell phone which had been ringing excessively. He knew it was either Tohma or Noriko and he wanted to pick it up. But he knew if he did they would get angry with him. After going to the Karaoke bar yesterday, he never came back to the studio. He was making a bad impression of himself but he was too conflicted right now to care.

"Ryu, are you going to get that?" Takashi asked as he stared up at him. It was obvious that the phone rings had awakened him and it was beginning to annoy him.

Ryuichi shook his head as he stared at the phone. He didn't want to answer it right now but he knew that he had to so that Takashi wouldn't be mad at him. He was about to reach over when suddenly Takashi did faster than he did.

"Hello," he said sleepily into the phone. He closed his eyes and as he rested his head on the pillow. "Yes Ryuichi's here but he's not feeling too well." He answered to the person on the other end. "Well he's not at home he's at my place," Takashi said as he opened his eyes and looked over at Ryu. "If he's feeling well I'll make sure he gets there today," he said winking at Ryuichi and giving him a cute smile. "Yea thanks a lot Tohma."

Ryuichi felt his heart jump at the sound of the name. Was Tohma mad at him?

"Yea talk to you later man, bye." Takashi said as he hung up the phone and looked over at Ryu once again. "You skipped out on your recording session?" he asked as he sat up slowly.

Ryuichi nodded as he looked down at the covers sadly. "Tohma's mad isn't he?" he asked looking like a kid who was about to get punished.

Takashi shook his head as he stood up. "No, he's more worried about you than angry," he said as he put on his shirt. "I'm taking you over to his place right now."

Ryuichi nodded as he got out of the bed. "Sorry for being a bother," he said as he searched for his shirt.

Takashi rolled his eyes and walked over to the other side of the bed where Ryuichi was standing. He pulled him close into a hug and kissed his forehead tenderly. "You're never a bother to me and you know that."

Ryuichi sighed because he knew that was the truth, but he had a hard time believing it. "Then why don't you…"

Takashi stopped him as he stared down at him a bit annoyed. "Ryuichi I thought we got over that. If a person cares for you or loves you they don't make it a habit of hurting you." He said as he continued to hold him. "I understand you grew up in a bad environment but you've been surrounded by people who care for a few years now that don't want to treat you that way."

Ryuichi nodded understandably as he continued to let himself be held. He knew this was true, but some things were hard to let go even if they're bad for you.

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_Aoi had arrived home around 7pm and he knew he was in a great deal of trouble. But he'd had fun when he was out with Takashi and was willing to take any punishment that was given to him. He couldn't help that his parents loved him so much that they felt the need to show him how much they cared. They had to love him; they had taken him in as if he was their own. Aoi could be nothing but grateful and deal with whatever they wanted to do with him._

_He walked into the door expecting both of them to be in the living room waiting for him. But to his surprise, they weren't. He walked throughout the whole house and to his relief no one was home. Maybe they hadn't been all day and wouldn't notice that he hadn't been home._

_He made his way into his room and shut his door. He began to work on his homework when suddenly he heard the front door open downstairs. His heart was pounding when he heard them coming upstairs and he prayed that they would walk into their room and leave him alone for the night._

_He heard their bedroom door open and for a few seconds later he heard it shut. He exhaled quietly as he went back to doing his homework. They were probably too tired to talk to him right now. _

_He continued to do his homework and he didn't notice the quiet footsteps that were approaching his door. Suddenly the door was forced open violently as his parents stood there glaring at him._

_"Aoi you were late this evening weren't you?" his mother asked as she stood next to her dad. She had a leather belt in her hand with a bowl of water. Aoi's eyes became wide as he noticed that. He had been beaten like that before and it took him over a week to recover. His eyes roamed over to his dad who also had a leather belt and without realizing it he stood up and backed towards his window. _

_"Mama, papa I'm sorry I didn't mean to," he said as tears began to well up in his eyes. He began to tell him self over and over again that they were doing this because they loved him and he had been a bad boy. He should have never gone out with Takashi. Now he had hurt their feelings._

_His mother charged in the room and walked up to Aoi. "Take off your clothes!" she demanded as she glared at him. _

_Aoi obeyed as he began to take off his uniform. Maybe if he did they wouldn't go as hard on him. But this was the first time both of them wanted to do this at the same time. He was afraid and he was sorry for hurting them._

_After he got all his clothes off and was stripped down to his boxers, his mother threw the bowl of water on him and quickly struck him with the leather belt across his chest._

_Aoi let out a loud yep as it stung his body. It always hurt more when he was wet. He didn't have any time to recover before his dad came up to him and struck him even harder across the shoulder. While he knew it was best that he hold in his pain he couldn't help it. It hurt so badly and he knew of no other way to suppress his cries._

_"You want to get loud boy? Are you hoping that someone will hear and come to your rescue?" his father screamed down at him angrily as he struck him again. His mother soon followed after._

_"No papa, I'm sorry." Aoi screamed out in pain. He wanted them to stop but he knew that he deserved this. He had disobeyed them and didn't care._

_"Are you talking back you brat!" his mother screamed at him as she struck him in the face. _

_Aoi screamed out again as he fell to his knees. He could feel his parents hitting him excessively and he tried his best to be a good boy and not cry out. They were only punishing him because they loved him. But he wasn't handling this punishment like a good boy should. His eyes began to blur as he stared at the ground. He was in so much pain and he wanted them to stop. But he had to take it, so he could show them how much he loved them back._

End Chapter

A/N: omg that was horrible! I'm so horrible. Believe it or not I found it quite disturbing to write that last part. Don't you just hate his parents?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation

A/N: First off I want to apologize for taking so long with this chapter. The last chapter I put up was back in May right? Well when I started my new gravitation fanficion I realized I had forgotten all about Silent melody. Realizing I wanted to continue this story I went back and read all of the chapters. I winced at what I wrote (the abuse ect…) how did I do that? but here it is, chapter 6! Enjoy! And 7 will follow shortly I just finished it!

Chapter 6: Silent Melody Part 2

Ryuichi sat in Takashi's car as he drove him to Tohma's place. He was lost in thought as he continued to stare outside in a daydream. Growing up he had been so brainwashed into thinking what love was, that it was hard to change his perception. Takashi had worked so hard to relieve him of some of those misconceptions. Thankfully all his hard work and loyalty to him was working. But in the end he wasn't able to continue loving him the way that Ryuichi wanted him to. Did that mean that it was too hard? Did Ryuichi secretly make him miserable and he just didn't want to say it? He knew that he wasn't the easiest person to get along with. That was proven time after time when all of his lovers tended to dump him.

He just had too much emotional baggage and most people who lived happy lives didn't want to help him carry that burden. Takashi had tried so hard to when they were together but he found out that he couldn't take it. Instead he felt like he needed to be just Ryuichi's support and friend instead of a lover.

He continued to gaze outside the window as he reflected on his childhood. To this very day the thought of his mother and father scared him to the point where he wanted to hide. He was even forced to go and see them at least twice a month. If he didn't he didn't know what would happen to him. Considering what he had went through growing up, not obeying them even while living on his own seemed fearful.

"Ryuichi," Takashi said interrupting the singer's thoughts. The man looked over at his friend slowly. He licked his slightly dry lips as he tried to shake the thought of his parents out of his mind. "I talked to your dad, he's been wondering how you've been doing. Why didn't you tell him about the record deal?" Takashi asked as he continued to drive.

Ryuichi's eyes opened wide upon realizing that he'd forgotten. "I haven't really been home since this started happening, I completely forgot to tell him."

Takashi shook his head and chuckled slightly. "He kind of figured, do you want to stop by before we head to Tohma's?"

"Yea Sure."

* * *

_ It had been a year since that horrible beating and from that day on Aoi tried his best not to disobey his parents. After they had finished punishing him, they had left him in the room to gather him-self up. But the problem was that he couldn't. He had been beaten so badly that it had knocked him out and when he did wake up, he didn't want to be conscious for long because of the pain. When his parents tried to feed him, he wasn't hungry and when he refused to eat they would punish him more._

_ Also around that time, his parents had given his school a leave of absence for him stating that he'd come down with a awful virus. While what had happen to him was atrocious, Aoi wished for anything that it would have been a virus. _

_ It had taken him two weeks to heal and his parents had come up with ways to hide his appalling scars. Upon coming back to school he was greeting by a great deal of people who were happy to see him again, including Takashi. _

_ Takashi was a very perceptive person and from seeing Aoi he kind of felt something had been up. But from what Aoi knew, he had kept those suspicions to himself._

_ Throughout that school year they had become best friends and shared practically everything. Takashi knew all of Aoi's secrets except that special one that contained details on how Aoi's parents showed him their love._

_ ------------------------------------------------------------------_

_ Aoi sat at the lunch table as he nibbled on his banana. He hadn't had much of an appetite that day and it didn't help him as he stared at his best friend Takashi, who was eating his obento like a wild boar._

_ He couldn't help but to frown a bit at his friend's eating habits; he figured that after a year and a half he should be use to it. But no one could stomach this unless they were very good with holding their lunch down._

_ "Takashi…do you eat often?" Aoi asked as he sat his banana down and stared at Taka curiously._

_ Takashi laughed as he put down his chop sticks and stared at Aoi. "You know I do; why do you ask?" he asked innocently._

_ Aoi looked at his friend in disbelief as he shook his head. "No reason," he said as he looked away in defeat. How could Taka not know why he was asking that?_

_ "Hey Takashi," a soft feminine voice said from behind them. _

_ The two boys turned around to find themselves staring at Mayu Matsuhita. She was the most popular girl in school and was envied by so many. Girls wanted to be like her while guys wanted her so bad that they would dump their own girlfriends if she asked them out. Aoi personally didn't find her that interesting. She seemed stuck up and the only reason why she even acknowledged his existence was because he was conveniently apart of the "it" crowd._

_ "Oh Matsuhita-san, what's up?" Takashi asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin._

_ "Oh nothing," she said as she sat down in between the two. Or rather she squeezed her way in between Takashi and Aoi which caused him to become quite aggravated. _

_ "I was wondering," she began as she crossed her legs and put on one of the fakest innocent looks Aoi had ever seen. "Would you like to go out with me tonight? For tea or maybe a movie?" she asked Takashi as she batted her eyes casually._

_ Aoi found himself fuming on the inside as he watched this girl. It was completely obvious what she meant by "going out." It was no secret that her popularity came at a price. But for some reason she was still respected and wanted. It was no way that this girl was Takashi's type._

_ "Sure why not," he answered coolly._

_ Aoi looked at Takashi in surprise as he looked away. What the hell was wrong with him? Aoi picked up his banana and began to eat it as he stared at the two infuriated by their conversation and the direction that it was headed._

_ "Okay," she said cheerfully as she stood up. "Come and get me at 7 tonight," she said as she walked away._

_ "Sure…" Takashi trailed off as his eyes landed on Aoi. "Ai-chan…"_

_ "I told you don't call me that!" Aoi said as he glared at Takashi and stood up abruptly and walked away._

_ ----------------------------------------------------------------------_

_ Throughout the day Aoi had did nothing but ignore Takashi. And the whole time Takashi tried to get Aoi to speak to him about his angry outburst that day. But in fact Aoi had no excuse for what he did. He himself could not understand why he had become so angry to the point that he had scolded his friend the way that he did. So by ignoring Takashi he had time to at least think of a good excuse to tell him_

_ But by the time the end of school came, Aoi hadn't thought of an excuse yet. So instead of walking half way home with Takashi today, he ended up leaving alone. And before he knew it, Takashi had caught up with him right in front of Aoi's house. He hadn't noticed that Takashi had been following him before, but to have him in front of his house was something that shouldn't be happening._

_ "Aoi," Takashi yelled as he caught up to the boy out of breath. He bent over and placed his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. _

_"Wh-what's going on with…you?" he asked as he continued to breathe heavily._

_ Aoi diverted his eyes towards his house and noticed that he didn't see his parents around. But to be right here was a bit uneasy for him. His parents and told him not to make any friends and he told them that he hadn't. Deciding that he didn't want to take his chances and get caught, he grabbed Takashi's hand and dragged him over to the side of his house. _

_ He looked at Takashi as he whispered to him softly, "if you have something to say, say it softly." He said as he placed his index finger to his lips._

_ Takashi nodded as he took a deep breath before standing up straight. "I'll ask this once again and I'm asking for you to be honest with me," he whispered to Aoi as he stared at him intensely._

_ Aoi nodded as he gazed at Takashi, his eyes once again captivating him with just the smallest glance. While he understood what Takashi wanted, he couldn't begin to explain himself. Why was he so angry? Maybe it was because…_

_ "Aoi why did you react the way you did when Matsushita-san asked me out?"_

_ Aoi took a deep breath as he decided to give an answer. It was the only thing he could think of at the moment. "Well…because I'm use to having you around all the time. I'm use to having your undivided attention. But if you get a girlfriend or start dating someone, it won't be the same between us anymore.." he said as he gazed down at the ground._

_ Takashi's exterior softened a bit as he walked up closer to Aoi. "Are you sure…that's all?" he asked as his voice became a bit softer._

_ Aoi, felt himself becoming a bit nervous at the distance between the two. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest as he hesitantly looked up at his best friend. This wasn't the first time it had happened. Almost a year ago when he's arrived back at school from his time off and Takashi had been really nice to him. He found himself growing more and more fond of his friend. He just shook it off as feelings of friendship. But the more it happened it seemed like more._

_ But that thought scared him to death. However it was hard fighting this type of feeling for someone. He had tried to be with girls but the feeling was never quite the same that he had for Takashi. And for a while it became natural to feel this way. Until earlier that day when he'd over reacted at his friend being asked out. But it was bound to happen, Takashi was very popular with the girls at their High school and he had heard of so many of them wanting to ask him out. But it wasn't until today that someone finally had to guts to do so._

_ "Takashi…I think I better get into the house before my parents become upset with me." He said as he backed away a bit._

_ Takashi's eyes showed a hint of pain as he backed away slowly. "Yea sorry about pressuring you…I just didn't want anything to come between us, you know." Takashi said as he ran his fingers through his hair._

_ "Yea…" Aoi said as he awkwardly looked away. _

_ "Aoi," Takashi said coolly._

_ "Yea?" he asked as he stared over at his friend. _

_ "I won't go out with her…if it makes you uncomfortable." He said as he turned a shade of pink._

_ Aoi's heart jumped with excitement as a smiled crept upon his lips. It was selfish but that's exactly what he wanted. "Thank you," he responded as he looked up at Takashi before being captured in a surprise lip lock. _

_ As soon as he had looked up at his friend, he found himself being kissed by Takashi. At first the contact with their lips scared Aoi, but when Takashi wrapped his arms around his waist, suddenly that fear vanished. He parted his lips slightly as Takashi did the same and sucked on his bottom lip gently. Aoi let out a small moan as he dropped his books and wrapped his arms around Takashi's neck. He pulled him closer and deepened the innocent kiss by parting his lips a bit more and letting Takashi slip his tongue quietly inside. Aoi could feel his friend exploring his mouth inch by inch. He could feel his tongue gliding over his teeth, and the root of his mouth until it made contact with his own tongue. Upon touching, Aoi felt a tingle of exhilaration by the new contacted. These feelings that he was feeling were so surreal that he almost wanted to believe that it was a dream. Takashi, caressing his back as his tongue caressed his tongue. He pulled away slightly and gazed at Aoi with his beautiful hazel eyes and whispered softly as he promised not to date anyone and he would be by Aoi's side always. Everything seemed perfect at the moment, but every up must have its down._

_"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON!" Aoi's dad boomed loudly._

_The two pulled apart and Aoi stared at his dad knowing that he was going to get punished._

_"YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BOY!" Aoi's dad yelled as he ran over to the two and shoved Takashi violently._

_Aoi's eyes opened wide as a tear ran down his cheek. He couldn't let his father do that to Takashi. He was some one special to him. "Dad please it's not his fault…I," he was interrupted by his dad punching him heavily in the chest._

_"Shut your fucking mouth boy! I'll deal with you after this faggot is gone," he stated as he glared at Aoi._

_"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OLD MAN, DON'T YOU LAY A HAND ON HIM AGAIN." Takashi stated as he stood up angrily. _

_Aoi began to cry heavily as he bent over wheezing. He could see Takashi's fearful eyes as if he'd come to a revelation._

_"Aoi, come with me," he said as voice shook with fear._

_Aoi's dad laughed hysterically as he glared at Takashi. "Come with you? Being gay must have messed up your mind boy now leave!" he shouted and he shoved Takashi even harder this time. _

_Aoi looked up as he realized that Takashi wasn't going to back down. He was already in a boat load of trouble so he mind as well do something to make sure Takashi left._

_"Taka-chan I'm okay, just leave," he said as he ran up to the boy. _

_Takashi looked down at Aoi, it was obvious he wanted to refuse but he could tell that things would be worse if he didn't go. _

_"Takashi…please," Aoi pleaded in a whisper._

_Takashi looked away angrily and then at Aoi's father who was sneering. "Okay I'll see you tomorrow at school," he said as he reached down and wiped a tear from Aoi's eye._

_"Thank you," he said as he backed up. He was suddenly grabbed by his collar from behind by his mother._

_"Aoi get into the house now," she said angrily._

_He turned around without hesitation and ran in. He had to prepare himself for what he was about to receive._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_The punishment he had received that day was far worse than anything that he'd ever received before. He was beaten to the point where he had to go to the hospital but that was when something strange began to happen to him. Around that time he was being beaten by his parents, something took over him and he suddenly began to feel less worried about being beat and more concerned about lasting until it was over._

_When he'd been hospitalized the doctors and nurses didn't question where his injuries had come from. But the psychologist had his own opinions._

_Aoi's first session was when he began to realize what was going on with him. He seemed more cheerful that usual, and a bit childish. But being this way made him happy, but it made the psychologist question his sanity._

_"Aoi-chan, how are you feeling today," Doctor Yamagata asked as he sat down in the chair next to Aoi's bed. _

_"I'm doing fine doctor," Aoi replied cheerfully. He was holding a teddy bear that one of the nurses had given to him._

_"Takashi's feeling fine as well, nee taka-chan?"_

_The psychologist wrote down a few notes as he observed Aoi. _

_"Aoi-chan, do you remember why you're in here?" he asked as he looked at him curiously._

_Aoi nodded as he put down his teddy bear slowly. He took a deep breath as his persona changed and he leaned back. "My parents became upset and I tried to get away but I fell down the stairs," he said as he looked up at the ceiling seriously._

_"There's no way a person can get the bruises that you have by falling down a flight of stairs," the psychologist stated simply._

_"Is that so…" Aoi stated as he trailed off. "Well then doctor, since you're an intelligent man." He began as he sat up and smirked at him. "Tell me how I got into this place." He challenged. _

_The doctor opened his mouth to speak when he was suddenly interrupted by the door opening slowly and a familiar pair of hazel eyes staring in at him. Aoi instantly reverted back to his childish self as he waved happily. "Taka-chan!" he yelled as the boy walked in and shut the door quietly. _

_The psychologist looked at the two and decided that he'd better excuse himself. _

_"Well Aoi-chan I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he walked past Takashi and out of the room, shutting the door behind him._

_As soon as he was gone, Takashi locked the door and ran over to Aoi. _

_He was deeply upset and Aoi couldn't help but to feel bad. "Aww Taka-chan are you okay?" he asked becoming teary eyed himself. "Aoi's sorry to make you worry, here," he said as he picked up his teddy bear. "Hold Takashi, he always makes me feel all better." He said as he shoved the teddy towards his best friend._

_"Aoi…what happened to you?" he asked as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I should have forced you to come with me." He said as he angrily punched the bed._

_Aoi looked at Takashi as he sat the teddy bear back on the bed. "It's not your fault, and I'm fine now." He said as he grabbed Takashi's hand and held it._

_"Aoi…you're not fine. You're in a hospital and…you seem different." He said hesitantly._

_Aoi, felt himself becoming sadden by that statement. "Does that mean that you don't like me anymore?" he asked becoming teary eyed. _

_Takashi shook his head quickly, "no, I still feel the same about you that I felt a week ago." He said quickly._

_"Well then if that's the case…kiss me," Ryuichi stated as he moved in and captured Takashi's lips in a kiss._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Here we are; Tohma's place." Takashi said as he shut off his car and sat in the driver seat calmly. Ryuichi looked out at the town home and found him not wanting to get out of the car. He sat there contemplating on whether he wanted to when he notice Tohma's front door opening slowly. His eyes locked onto that area as he watched his blonde band mate make his way out of the door with a huge coffee mug in his hand. He was wearing a black rob with black and gold pajamas. Ryuichi couldn't help but to feel a bit glad when he saw the blonde but he knew that he was going to get scolded.

His eyes continued to watch Tohma as he walked out to his mailbox and soon after grabbed his news paper that was sitting in the walkway near the box.

"So are you going to go and greet him before he goes back in?" Takashi asked as his eyes continued to go from Tohma to Ryuichi. The man looked over at his friend as his hand eased over to the door handle. "Yea I'm going," he replied as he opened the door and stepped out slowly.

"Hey Tohma!" he yelled instantly putting on his happy go luck façade. Takashi gave Ryuichi a concerned gaze as he reached over and grabbed the man's wrist. "Don't worry, I'm fine." He responded without looking down at his friend. Letting out a deep sigh, he gently released his wrist from his friend's concern grip and shut the door.

As he looked up at the doorway, the blonde he had grown fond of stood there with an unreadable expression on his face. That expression made Ryuichi ten times more nervous than he originally was. Not knowing what Tohma was thinking or feeling put him in the tight position that he knew he did deserve. He only did walk out on their record recording time. The record business was an unknown area for the young singer but he knew that time was money. And if time was wasted people get angry.

He continued to keep his façade up as he thought about the situation. What if Tohma didn't need him anymore and decided to replace him? His pretense faltered at the thought of that occurring. What if…

"Ryuichi-san," Tohma said barely above a whisper.

"Tohma, I'm sorry," he responded as he bowed. "You can do anything you want to make me pay for what I did. I know it was irresponsible of me to just walk out like that." He said shakily.

Tohma frown. _Do anything I want to make him pay? What in the world was he getting at?_

* * *

_Aoi was released from the hospital but that still didn't stop his endless appointments with his psychologist. The man was trying to get to the core of his additional personality that had appeared right after his "accident." _

_"Ito-san," he began as he sat down his notebook. He crossed his legs as he stared at the boy. "You do know that everything that is said between is stays between us right?" _

_Aoi slumped down in his chair as he massaged his temples. He was tired of coming to see this guy and he was tired of trying to be forced to confess about his home problems. Wasn't it obvious he didn't want to talk about it?_

_"I'm telling you doctor, I fell down the stairs." He repeated with irritation._

_"Okay, I won't force you to admit what happened young man. But if you ever want to talk about it, there are ways that I can help." He said as he handed Aoi a piece of paper._

_His chocolate colored eyes scanned the paper. Was this what he thought it was?_

_"Just think about it." The doctor demanded as he stood up._

* * *

_Takashi looked at the sheet of paper before putting it down on his desk. Aoi had decided to head over his house after his brief visit to the hospital. Usually he was very cautious about doing things such as this, but considering his sessions were suppose to be two hours, three times a week, he always had time to sneak over to Taka's place._

_"So what are you going to do about it?" he asked as he stared up at the ceiling. He was lying on his back while Aoi had his head on his chest._

_"I don't know…"Aoi answered._

_"I think you should go for it," he insisted._

_"You think things will get better?" Aoi asked._

_"Well it depends, maybe you should do some research before you make the decision to spill. But of course you know I feel that you should do it regardless." Takashi replied as he wrapped her arms around the boy and squeezed him softly._

_"Well if things don't, will you be there for me?" Aoi asked softly. He inhaled Takashi's scent as he enjoyed himself while in his arms._

_"You know I will." He assured._

* * *

When Ryuichi stepped into the apartment and shut the door, his heart raced of the many possibilities that could occur. He didn't know how Tohma was feeling at the moment, and he was a bit scared to ask.

"Ryuichi," Tohma spoke softly as he walked up to him. He stood right in front of Ryu and gave him a warm smile. "It's okay, I'm not mad." He assured as he reached up and caressed his cheek.

The singer let out a sigh of liberation amalgamated with a sigh of bliss. He didn't think that feeling Tohma's touch would make him feel so good. He wanted to be touched more, he wanted to be needed more, so that the horrible memories of his past wouldn't resurface.

His mind began to whirl between his thoughts and the present. He had found out that he was adopted and sought out his real parents. Unfortunately his mom had died giving birth but his father was alive and healthy. He was taken in by his dad, but the scars of his abusive adoptive parents still remained. Even after changing his name, Aoi Ito still lurked inside of him.

He…

Before he could think of more, Ryuichi went in for the kill. He grabbed Tohma and pulled him into a rough kiss. He wanted to forget all of the bad things that had happened to him. He wanted to just remain in the present and become lost in this wonderful person he was with now. He just wanted…

"Ryuichi," Tohma said a bit surprised.

The singer broke down in sobs. He was so confused and so hurt.

Tohma grabbed Ryuichi's hand and led him to the couch. He told him to sit down as he sat next to the singer as he cried. He knew better than anyone that crying could do wonders for a person's soul. Most times it even made a person feel better. He knew that and just sat patiently until he was ready to talk about it.

His mind was wondering what could possibly be wrong. He was with Takashi last night, maybe something happened between them. The blond felt a pang of irritation when he thought about the two being together. He knew he had no right to be jealous. And considering he wasn't exactly sure about the history between the two he couldn't jump to conclusions. But for some reason he had a feeling that they had a deep connection. One so deep that when Ryu was feeling troubled yesterday, he ran straight to him instead of wanting to talk to Tohma.

"I'm sorry," Ryuichi said hoarsely interrupting Tohma's thoughts.

The blond looked down at him surprised as he was brought out of his thoughts. "What are you sorry about?"

Ryuichi moved closer as he laid his head on Tohma's shoulder. He was hesitating and he was assured that whatever he wanted to talk about would be okay. So he began to tell him about everything. About his childhood, the abuse, the adoption, Takashi and how he was there for him through everything. Tohma just sat there as he realized the reason behind Ryuichi's constant mood changes finally the friendship of Takashi and Ryuichi. And his parents, what type of people would do that to a child?!

By the end of his long explanation, Ryuichi was in tears once again. Tohma just held him as he thought of a possible solution to everything. Even though he knew that there may be none, he couldn't help but to want to find one.

Furthermore, there was his relationship with Takashi. He didn't want to appear to be possessive but it seemed that his guy was a speed bump in the development of his and Ryuichi's relationship.

"Promise me something Ryuichi," Tohma began as he squeezed Ryu tighter. "When you have a problem or you're not feeling well, come to me."

The singer looked at Tohma and smiled softly. "Do you not mind? It's not like I have the easiest problems in the world to deal with."

Tohma nodded.

After their talk the two held each other and kissed every so often. Meanwhile in Tohma's mind he tried to think of possible solutions to help him. There was always the issue of confronting Ryuichi's adoptive parents himself. He liked the sound of that since he had a few things he wanted to tell them. And about Takashi, Tohma knew that he had been a great source of support but maybe it was time for him to go away. Since it was obvious Ryuichi still harbored romantic feelings towards the man, which would cause problems for Tohma. First off he would talk to Takashi and get Ryuichi's old address, then he would let him know exactly where he stood with the singer and tell him to leave him alone. Then he would talk to the parents. Tohma kissed Ryuichi's cheek as he hugged him tighter, he was going to take care of him.

* * *

Tohma found himself at the karaoke bar later that night. He had some things to discuss with Takashi that he thought he should hurry up and do now. When he walked into the bar, Takashi was behind the counter like usual. Luckily there were no customers around so they could talk in private.

He walked over to the bar and sat down. "Good evening Takashi-san."

"Oh good evening," Takashi replied. "Will it be the usual?"

"Yes."

Takashi began to make Tohma's drink as the blond observed the man. It had been a while since they were in the same room together with Ryuichi being around. He had to admit he was impressed with his patience, but he also felt like he was being a bit selfish. Although if you looked at it from his standpoint he wasn't.

"Here you go," Taka said as he handed Tohma his drink.

The blond took a sip as he stared at Taka. "You know…I've been wondering about this since I was told a few things this morning. Why are you still around Ryuichi?" he asked calmly.

Takashi's expression remained calm as he exhaled. "So Ryu finally told you everything huh?"

"It was a matter of time before he did."

"Yea well if you know everything then there is no need for me to answer that question," the bartender said as he cleaned out a few glasses.

"I think it will be better if you stopped coming around…at least for a while." Tohma demanded as he took another sip of his alcohol.

"I can't do that."

The blond glanced up at the bartender as he took another drink. "Well we're going to have to do something about that. Ryuichi's memories and fears will continue to haunt him as long as the person who stood beside him through it all remains around him. Your presence is like a double edged sword. While it will hurt him to be without you, you are not able to return his affections so therefore it's time that someone else took over as his support."

Takashi gripped the glass cup in his palm tightly as he glared at Tohma. "There's nothing that can be done about it, I'm not going away."

Tohma was becoming agitated. But then again he was asking him to do something completely irrational. He was only looking out for Ryuichi as well as whatever was developing between them. He didn't want Ryu's feelings to waver because of some childhood friend who couldn't give him what he needed the most.

His mind wondered back to earlier when he was in Ryuichi's presence. When Tohma touched him, he could tell that Ryuichi really needed more than emotional support. He needed someone to tend to his needs physically as well as emotionally.

"If you won't leave on your own, I'll have to force you to."

"You know Tohma, I think it's time that you stopped spending as so much time with Ryuichi. He can come and live with me. You've only been in his life for a short time, there is no way that you can even fathom what he's been going through all of these years. I've been there for years, he needs someone like me around."

"I can make you go away." He stated menacingly.

"You can't, after I talk to Ryuichi tonight you won't be able to do anything."

"Talk to him about what? what could you possibly tell him that you haven't told him before. He's growing tired of your hollow affections, he's turning to me more and more."

"Only because I won't return his affections."

Tohma stood up, it was time for him to go. Perhaps speaking to him wasn't the right way to go about it. He needed to get back to his apartment before Ryuichi went out searching for him.

"Tohma," Takashi said sternly. "You won't take him away from me. I've worked too hard to help him get over what happened to him. I've sat around waiting for him to come to terms with what happened to him so he could move on. I felt like he didn't need a physical relationship to hide under as he tried to smother his emotions. I won't let you hide him from his past. I held back because I wanted the Aoi that I first met to at least peak out from the heavy blanket the he had put up in front of himself."

Tohma glared at Takashi as he slammed down the glass. Running from the past, trying to forget, sometimes that was he only way people knew how to deal with the pain. While Takashi was trying to push his method on Ryuichi, the singer was suffering terribly. He took a deep breath as he turned around to leave, he wasn't going to let Ryuichi go around him, even if he had to work him to death.

"Takashi, I appreciate what you've done for him for so long but I'll be taking over from now on. If I see you come near him I will make it my business to make you disappear at all cost. I'm not doing this because I hate you; I'm doing this for Ryuichi's liberation from his past. If you love him, which is what I'm assuming is true, you would acknowledge what I'm trying to do for him. If not try me." He finished as he walked out of the door. It was time for him to step up, even if some of the things he did hurt others.

End Chapter


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation BUT I do own the lyrics to Poetic Beauty! It's a poem I made up specifically for this story!

A/N: I'm not a song writer but…I like this poem. I usually don't make my poetry public. Also if there are mistakes i'm sorry, I do not have a beta reader.

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content.

Chapter 7: Poetic Beauty

* * *

_Raindrops falling from the sky  
I can hear you calling out from inside  
All of your emotions  
Pent up love  
Is creating an aura  
Swallowing you up_

_All you wanted for me to see  
Was how you truly felt for me  
The words that always flow so freely  
Feels and sounds like Poetic beauty_

_If I could paint the world with your kiss  
See beauty through your eyes  
Feel all of your bliss  
Eternally see your smile  
Enrapture all of your wit  
Make your portrait in Poetic bliss_

_Your cherry lips taste like wine  
Not perfect but just right  
Tears of blood scream as they slide  
Down your cheeks so divine  
The heart that was once yours now belongs to me  
I hold it captive  
Never leave me_

_Your angelic face  
Big blue eyes, seem captivated when I pass by  
You said to me on that rainy day  
That no one had ever made you feel this way  
And that my hypnotic voice entraps you  
My body moves in a poetic fashion  
When you see me, the words just flow out  
Capturing my essence your heart is screaming out._

_If I could write your exquisiteness down in a poem  
Eat you up until you're all gone  
Take in your whole being  
Capture your lips in a pleasurable kiss  
Color me attractive and make the whole world non existent  
Keep you under my complete management  
Hoping you realize that you love only me  
That would be poetic beauty_

_Paint my picture with your words  
Call my name until you feel hoarse  
Scratch my back until you make a scar  
Signify to everyone that I am only you  
Tell me that you love me all the time  
I'll keep you safe just be only mine_

_Like a cardinal's color is scarlet  
Write me over because I'm starving  
For your love and undying affection  
Our love can only be described in Poetic fashion  
Beauty so striking, love so deep that it could only be described as poetic beauty_

Poetic Beauty written by Ryuichi Sakuma

* * *

Tohma read the lyrics over again as he tried to come up with a musical number that would fit the lyrics description. He bit down on his pen as he leaned back in his chair and stared at his synthesizer. What type of rhythm would make the song come alive? Should he make it a slow song or should he make it something more upbeat?

"So you're having a hard time coming up with tune for the song as well huh?" Noriko asked as she sat down next to him.

Tohma nodded as he massaged his temples. He had been sitting at home all day trying to find something that would satisfy him. When he had asked Ryuichi what his idea tone would be for the song, the singer simply said that he would leave it up to Tohma and Noriko to figure that out.

He let out a groan as he reread the lyrics once more. He was expecting something less serious from the singer; he wasn't expecting something like this.

"But you have to admit," Noriko grabbed the lyrics from Tohma's hand and scanned over them. "The song turned out better than we thought. And our dear lead singer is upstairs writing another song."

The blond nodded as he sat up and placed his fingers on the keys of the synthesizer. The surface was cool and it was apparent that he hadn't touched it for over an hour. Maybe if he just played something would come up.

He turned on his synthesizer when suddenly his phone began to ring. Tohma felt a pang of annoyance as he told himself to remember to turn off the ringer as soon as he hung up. Walking over to the phone, he didn't bother to look at the caller ID before he picked it up.

"Hello."

"Seguchi-san how have you been?"

Tohma frowned as he tried to place the voice with someone he knew, but his mind was drawing up a blank. "I'm fine mister…"

"Oh yes I'm very sorry. Considering it's been almost half a year since we last spoke it's not surprising that you don't remember my voice. I'm Mr. Uesugi, the monk at Kirishigi temple in Kyoto. Remember you met with your father and me to discuss your marriage to my daughter."

"I'm so very sorry." Tohma apologized immediately. There was no way to know who he was over the phone and he felt extremely sorry for not realizing sooner. "Uesugi-san it's been a long time. How is Mika-san doing?" Tohma asked, peaking Noriko's interest. She looked over at him curious to who he was talking about.

"Mika's doing just fine, she's been wanting to meet with you again."

"Is that so? Have you and father picked a date for all of us to meet?"

"Yes it will be a week from now at eight in the evening. We will meet at Okuda's."

"Here in Tokyo?"

"Yes."

"Okay I will see you next Wednesday at 8 p.m.," Tohma responded politely.

Tohma sighed inwardly as he realized the time was edging near. The Seguchi and Uesugi family had been friends for over ten years-he had first met Mika then. She was very polite and very pretty and there was no denying that he was attractive to her. She had two little brothers name Eiri and Tatsuha. Eiri was a different one from the bunch, but he was so lively that you wouldn't think that he knew he was different. He had blond hair with blue eyes, the same as Tohma. And when they met it was like they had a connection like no other. Both knew that they were different, and they were happy that they had met someone who they could relate to.

"Tohma-san?"

"Oh yes, I'm very sorry sir," Tohma apologized when he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Oh it's okay, from what I hear you're very busy these days. It's only understandable that you would be tired. I guess I should tell Eiri that you don't have time to talk."

At hearing Mika's little brother's name Tohma's attention stuck. _Eiri wanted to speak to him? About what? _"If he wants to speak to me I can spare a few more minutes," he assured the man.

At the sound of that he heard the man excuse himself for a minute before he heard the bubbly child say hello into the phone.

"Seguchi san?"

"Y-yes?"

"I have a question to ask you?" Eiri said in a sudden whisper.

Tohma couldn't help but to be curious at what he wanted to ask. It wasn't everyday that he would lend his time to a thirteen year old boy. "Sure what is it?"

"Well there is a girl in my class name Kaori and she says that she likes me, but mostly because of my hair and eyes. I've always liked her so I was thinking about telling her that I would become her boyfriend. But she only likes me because she thinks I'm half american. I told her that I was Japanese but she said that no one who is Japanese would have my hair and eye color. However even after that I still like her, should I tell her yes?"

Tohma listened to his question and explanation and took everything in. He knew how that felt, to be wanted by everyone and yet be hated by others because of his looks. A lot of girls only wanted him because they thought he was a foreigner as well. Well there was no denying that he was half American. His mother had an affair while in business in Florida and that resulted in him. His father decided he needed an heir and would accept Tohma, but that would explain their strained relationship.

Eiri came about from something similar, except the foreigner was in the American navy and she met him here in Japan. Eiri's father had yet to tell him the truth of his origin, but he was getting old enough so eventually he was bound to figure it out.

Funny how two different people could share the same experience without knowing each other.

"I say date her and see what happens. If you like her, this is your chance to show her who you are."

"I wanted to but I wasn't sure, thank you for the advice. I knew if I had to ask anyone it would be you, since we're alike," Eiri chirped.

Tohma smiled, "no problem Eiri, I'll see you next week."

"Sure thing," he said before hanging up.

He inhaled as he sat down the phone. His eyes glanced over at his friend who was staring at him quite amused.

"That was interesting."

Tohma rolled his eyes and looked over at Noriko. "I am the only one he can relate to."

"How's that?"

"He has blond hair and blue eyes too…"

"Oh…" Noriko answered.

"Both of us were brought into this world under the same circumstances," he added to clarify. "And besides he's Mika's little brother I have to play nice."

"Mika?" Noriko asked as she looked at her friend for an explanation.

"Yea well I guess I failed to mention her." Tohma said as he sat down and rested his head on Noriko's arm. "Mika is my future fiancée. My dad made one stipulation when I told him I wanted to do this band. We agreed that I would enter an arranged marriage and take over the company in the future."

Noriko exhaled at hearing this. She thought it was strange that Tohma had been able to do what he wanted without any commotion from his family, and this was why.

"What will you do with Ryuichi?"

"What about me?" a voice called out from behind them.

The two jumped, surprised at the fact that he was right behind them.

"Nothing at all Ryu-chan," Noriko reassured.

Ryuichi gave her a suspicious glance as he watched her excuse herself and leave. Tohma was silently cursing her for leaving him in this uncomfortable situation. Not knowing how to explain to Ryu who Mika was, he was thinking about topics to change the subject when his concentration was disrupted by the singer sitting down next to him and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Tohma, I'm halfway done with the second song."

"Really?" Tohma asked as he leaned his head onto the singer's and glanced at the clock. "That's good considering you've only been working on the song for only an hour."

"Uh huh," Ryuichi responded with a yawn.

Tohma lifted his head as he gently pushed Ryuichi's bang out of his eyes. It had been two week since he had confronted Takashi and the blond hadn't heard anything from him or about him. So he had taken those two weeks to get to know Ryuichi inside and out. It was pretty easy to read him once you got use to it, and now Tohma considered himself an expert at reading the singer.

During the two weeks also Ryuichi had grown use to Tohma and he was more open with him, physically and emotionally. Though they had not done anything extreme, they were pretty comfortable with each other.

"Ryuichi," Tohma said softly as he stroked his head. "You should go and take a nap to reenergize yourself."

"I don't need a nap," he protested as he let out another yawn.

Tohma chuckled, "that yawn says otherwise."

"I could just be bored."

"Are you ever bored around me?"

Ryuichi didn't respond verbally, but he did cross his arms around his chest and shake his head no. Tohma found himself wanting to hug him tightly but he knew he had to keep his composure. He had to tell Ryuichi about Mika soon before he found out on his own. God knows how he will react if he just happen to hear about Tohma's engagement.

"Ryuichi I want to…"

"I think I'll try to finish that song now," Ryuichi interrupted.

_What the…_Tohma thought to him self as he watched Ryuichi stand up and stretch.

"Ryuichi I really think we should talk about this now." _While I have the guts to bring it up._

"Well I don't want to," he responded stubbornly.

"You don't even know what it's about." Tohma said becoming a bit annoyed.

"You're fiancé. This is about you telling me about Mika-san." Ryuichi said as he exhaled. It seemed like he had gotten what he wanted to say off of his chest. "Its fine, this stuff is expected." He responded with a shrug.

_How do you know about Mika? _"Is that all?" he asked looking up at the singer.

"What else is there to say? I'll start looking for another place to stay soon." He said as he began to walk away.

_No this isn't why I wanted to tell you, _Tohma thought to himself as he watched Ryuichi walk away. However it did save him the stress of having to tell him about the engagement. But he had no intentions of asking Ryuichi to move out. He was going to be clear that he didn't want to officially marry her for a few more years. That meant that she wouldn't live with him until then and would most likely stay in Kyoto.

Standing up, he walked back to the room where Ryuichi was in. When he opened the door he noticed the singer staring outside of the window in a daze. He wasn't happy about the engagement at all, it was clearly written on his face.

"I wonder how Takashi's been doing." Ryuichi said, sensing Tohma's presence. "I haven't been able to contact him, but I've been too busy to go over to his place. I think I'll stop by later."

Tohma's eye twitched at the thought of Ryuichi running back to Takashi. They had made so much progress the past few weeks and he didn't want it all to be thrown to the wayside because of this marriage that meant absolutely nothing to him.

"I don't want you to go back to him," Tohma stated bluntly. "And I also don't want you to move out. No…I won't let you move out."

Ryuichi turned around and looked at Tohma. His expression showed that he was conflicted and didn't know how to respond. "You're getting married, it's only natural for your fiancé to come and live with you. I don't think she will be too happy about our relationship."

Tohma rolled his eyes as he walked over and sat next to the singer. He wrapped his arm around his waist as he laid his chin on his shoulder. "I don't care if she approves, I'm not marrying her for love. This marriage will benefit the Uesugi family greatly and that's the only reason for it. Also it will benefit my family in ways unknown to me. You're the one that I have feelings for, not her. If I have it my way she won't even live with me after we're married."

"That's cold."

"It's the truth, can you blame me?"

"It's wrong."

"So but being with you is right and I will do almost anything to make that stay the same."

"Almost anything?"

"I can NOT get married, I promised my father."

Ryuichi gave Tohma an irritated glance as he lightly pushed him off of his shoulder and stood up. "I refuse to continue to be around you like this when you're married."

Tohma frowned at the remark as he stood up behind Ryuichi. He wrapped his arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides. He wanted him to understand and not be so stubborn. Though he could understand why he was being the way he was, this was not a situation he could change.

"Ryu…"

"Let me go Tohma," he said softly.

"Not until you hear me out." Why was he being so difficult?

"I can't…I can't come second to another. Not again. Eventually you're going to grow tired of being stretched too thin and you're going to leave me, so I'm backing away now." He responded. Tohma could hear his voice shaking, as he felt his body tense. "Tohma…you know what I've been through. I can't have you leave me too."

Tohma exhales as he threw his head back. _Leave him? That's what he was trying to explain, he had no intentions of doing anything of the sort._ He loosened his grip on Ryuichi as he turned him around to face him. He wasn't surprise to see tears flowing freely down his cheeks, but it did infuriate him that he was the one that caused the pain.

"Ryu…ichi…" he whispered as he gently wiped his tear stained cheeks with his thumb. This was something he had been trying to protect the singer from. He didn't want him to have any reason to cry other than for something joyful.

"Tohma I love you, I don't want you to leave me," he said in-between sobs.

_Lo-love?! _Tohma thought to himself astonished. He expected that Ryuichi liked him a lot but love? He was surprised none the less but that didn't stop his heart beat from rising drastically. No one had ever said that they loved him before, nor had Tohma ever been in love. All he knew was that he wanted to protect Ryuichi and he wasn't going to give him up for anyone? Was that love? But how in such a short time?

"Ryuichi I…" How could he express his feelings? He knew that it was more than being attracted to him. He wanted to spend all of his free time with the singer. He loved to wake up in the morning and see him halfway off of the bed. He was messy, noisy, sometimes a bit too childish, but the blond found himself not caring much. He even now had a fiancée and he still wasn't going to give Ryuichi up.

"I…" he stuttered as he tried to put his feelings into words.

"Tohma?" Ryuichi asked a bit concerned.

Tohma wanted him. Not just sexually, he just wanted to hold him in his arms, kiss him, and overwhelm him with affection. What was this emotion that he was feeling? He didn't have an answer because he didn't know what love felt like because he had never been in love. He didn't even think he loved his own parents.

_Do I love him? _He asked himself as he stared at Ryuichi.

He didn't have an answer at the moment, but all he knew was that he needed him. Leaning him, he gently kissed his lips and then pulled away. He could feel himself becoming excited but yet weak at the contact. Every time they kissed he felt this, some girls called it butterflies, but Tohma would never say something so feminine. His hands roamed up to Ryuichi's face as his left hand brushed his bangs from his eyes once again while the other one stayed put on his cheek.

He slowly backed up and sat down on the bed, tugging Ryuichi to follow his lead. The singer complied and straddled the blonde's hips as he looked down at Tohma with a gentle smile.

Tohma looked up at Ryuichi as he became nervous. He had initiated this, but he had never had this type of intercourse before.

"Just go with it, don't worry about it." Ryuichi whispered sensing his partner's nervousness quickly as he leaned down and captured Tohma's lips in a passionate lock. The blond was taken back by the sudden aggressiveness but went with it. He was going to allow himself to be taught while still having dominant control. He wanted this for himself and to reassure Ryuichi that he wasn't going anywhere. Placing his hands on his waist, Tohma wasn't sure where he should put his hands next. What places made a male feel good? Was it the same as a woman or…

Before he could waste anymore time thinking, he felt Ryuichi's hands softly take a hold of his and lead them to his chest. The blond had always noticed Ryuichi's great physique, and he touched him a few times, but not in this manner. The singer pulled away from the kiss but didn't say a word. He led Tohma's hands slowly from his stomach to his chest.

Everything was so sensual that Tohma couldn't help but to get extremely turned on by this one little act. It was as if Ryuichi was silently telling him to explore his body and that it was okay not to rush things.

Ryuichi let go of his hands and took off his shirt while Tohma continued to gently touch his stomach and chest. He let himself feel ever inch of Ryuichi's washboard stomach and very firm chest.

He kissed his stomach as his hands made their way to his back. Ryuichi was muscular but he was also very small. It was like holding a woman, which made Tohma feel a great deal more confident since he knew where and how to touch a woman.

As his tongued glided over his chest, his hands massaged his back. He could hear Ryuichi cooing with pleasure as he rubbed his head gently.

"How do you like it to be done?" Tohma asked with his lips still on Ryuichi's skin.

The singer looked down at him, his eyes were clouded over with lust and that just turned Tohma on even more. Beautiful was the only word to describe Ryuichi Sakuma. Calling him "cute" or "handsome" didn't do his features any justice.

"Anyway you want to give it to me," he answered as he kissed Tohma's forehead.

_Anyway huh?_

Tohma thought to himself as he suddenly flipped Ryuichi over onto the bed. Startled by the suddenly change of pace, the singer looked up at him surprised as Tohma took off his shirt. The moment he felt their skin collide he could no longer control himself.

This felt much different from all of the other times he had sex. He felt so many emotions within him, but they all came down to how much he wanted to be inside of him. How much he wanted to see his features when they became one. He wanted Ryuichi to be his and only his.

From then on, the clothing of the two was removed quickly. Tohma told himself to slow down but he felt like a kid who was going to get a new bike. He didn't want to wait, he wanted it now. He wanted to devour this man underneath him, it seemed like there was no end to his lust when suddenly he was flipped over and Ryuichi was now on top.

He kissed Tohma's forehead as he whispered that he loved him. His small lips traced kisses all the way down to Tohma's cock that was throbbing from want.

Ryuichi kissed the tip of the head as he gently licked the pre-come off of the opening. He looked up at Tohma as he did it and the blond couldn't restrain himself from grabbing him and taking him completely. So he watched as his cock was soon sheathed into Ryuichi's mouth completely. The suddenly surged caused a loud moan to escape his lips. His partner's mouth was so warm, he wanted to come but he knew he had to hold on, at least for a little while. He soon felt the singer humming as he applied a great deal of suction on him. It felt so good; the only thing he could do to keep himself from grabbing Ryuichi was to take a hold of his held. Tohma began to gently thrust into Ryuichi's mouth, as the singer bobbed to the same rhythm. He wanted pictured himself inside of Ryuichi's other hole, as he continued to thrust. Feeling like he had to do something, he instructed the singer to climb back onto of him so he could pleasure him as well.

Letting Tohma's cock fall out of his mouth, Ryuichi positioned himself into a sixty-nine position on top of Tohma. He quickly took a hold of the blonde's member again, without warning. Tohma let out a loud moan as he grabbed a hold of Ryuichi's cock. He sucked the pre come off of the tip as he licked it while it hung above him. His hand then roamed to Ryuichi's entrance as he slid one of his fingers inside.

He felt Ryuichi's mouth loosen a bit as he felt him moan. The blonde maneuvered his finger a bit more before sticking in a second finger, soon followed by a third. By this time Ryuichi was feeling too much pleasure to continue giving Tohma oral sex, and the blond didn't mind.

Tohma removed his fingers, and licked his opening; his hands massaged his testicles as he listened to the singer's excessive moaning. His voice sounded so beautiful, as if he was singing a sweet song of irrepressible ecstasy. He was squirming, and his knees were becoming weak. Tohma rolled over so that he was now on top so that he could continue pleasuring his lover without him having to strain to keep his balance.

"Tohma," Ryuichi moaned as Tohma lost himself in pleasuring Ryuichi. Just listening to his moans and squeals was more than what he needed. Knowing that he was making him feel good was always good enough.

He then turned himself around so that he was once again face to face with Ryu. "I love you," he breathed as he kissed him passionately. He used his arm to prop his leg up as he eased his way into Ryuichi. He deepened his kiss as he continued to enter the singer. He was so tight and it felt so good. Ryuichi's nails dug into his back as Tohma stopped kissing him and whispered with concern.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No…Tohma you feel so good, don't stop." Ryuichi whined.

Tohma began to suck on Ryuichi's neck as he finally made his way completely inside of him. He had to take a moment to gather himself so that things wouldn't end prematurely.

He kissed Ryuichi as he pent his hands above his head and began to thrust roughly. At the first thrust, Ryuichi screamed out in pleasure. Tohma couldn't help but to look at his features. He was in heaven; the real world did not long matter to him.

He thrusted again, and he heard another yelp followed by a few I love yous. While continuing to keep his hands pent up, Tohma started excessively thrusting as Ryuichi screamed out. The bed creaked loudly and the head board beat against the wall with massive force. Tohma didn't even consider his neighbors as he became lost in Ryuichi, lost in their love making, lost in his moans and continuous I love yous'.

Ryuichi managed to free his hands and began to claw at Tohma's back.

"I love you so much," he yelled as he kissed Tohma passionately.

The blond grabbed his hair as he tugged it gently; he pent Ryuichi's arms back above him with both of his hands as he continued to thrust. He wanted to look at him, see his lust filled features, and remember ever expression he made.

Sweat began to pour down his face as he felt himself wanting to come. But he knew he couldn't Ryuichi did.

"I…I…." Ryuichi moaned out in a high pitched voice.

Tohma continued to thrust as he brought his body to Ryuichi's. He could feel Ryuichi's cock in between their stomachs.

"I love you Ryuichi," he whispered again as he felt the man come underneath him. He felt him jerk a few times as he tried to push as much out as possible.

Tohma began to slow down and was about to stop when suddenly Ryuichi grabbed him. "No don't stop until you've came." He instructed.

Noticing how tired Ryuichi was he didn't want to over exert him, but he really wanted to come. So he continued to thrust quickly until he came roughly five minutes later.

Both of them just laid there in a puddle of sweat and bodily fluids. Neither said anything because everything had been said. Realizing his feelings himself, the blond just laid there with the person he loved in his arms.

End Chapter


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, the wonderful Maki Murakami does

Chapter 8: Pain and betrayal

"That's a wrap," the producer yelled through the microphone and into the sound booth where Ryuichi stood. The singer had just gotten through recording the song for their first single-Poetic Beauty.

Ryuichi nodded as he took off his head set and ran out of the booth. "So is that all for today?"

The producer nodded as he looked over at Tohma and Noriko, who were sitting on the couch. "That's all for today. Tomorrow you have a meeting with Beat magazine to discuss your up and coming single. Then you have a photo shoot followed soon after."

"Is there anything else that we need to know about tomorrow?" Tohma asked as he wrote down the information.

"Yes, after the photo shoot you will meet with Keiichi Miyamoto, the man who will direct your video. He will go over concepts with you all so if you can think of some ideas let him know."

"Okay then we'll see you tomorrow," the blond said as he stood up walked towards the door.

Ryuichi and Noriko said their goodbyes and went after him.

After they left the studio, everyone went their separate ways. Tohma headed back to his apartment, Noriko went home as well. She mentioned having to meet a friend, Ryuichi felt it was time he went to see Takashi. It had been three weeks now and he hadn't heard a peek from him. That was unusual considering they were always there all the time.

First he stopped at the bar to see if he was working, but unfortunately he wasn't. Then he decided to go to his apartment. It had been a while since he was last there, he remembered running there after he ran out on a recording session almost a month ago. A small chuckle escaped is lips as he thought about seeing his friend again. He needed to get there as soon as possible to tell him the good news.

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Ryuichi rang the bell as he waited for Takashi to answer the door. He thought about how he would greet him. They had never been apart this long so he was sure things would be a bit awkward. But after ten minutes no one answered so the singer decided to use the spare key that he had gotten from his friend.

Unlocking the door and stepping inside, he took off his shoes as he wondered into the living room. He didn't hear anything nor did he see Takashi. He wondered back into the bedroom and to his relief, Takashi was in there asleep.

"No wonder he didn't answer the door," Ryuichi said out loud to himself.

He walked into the room and he could hear his friend's light snoring. Making his way over to the bed, he sat down on it and continued to stare at his friend. Why hadn't he been around the past few weeks? Why didn't he pick up the phone when Ryuichi called? His mind wondered about everything as he lay down beside him. It felt so good to be beside him again. While he loved being with Tohma, he loved being with Takashi as well, if not more.

When he placed his body down beside Takashi, he felt him shift over and move closer to him. Ryu couldn't help but to grin at that as he laid his head on his arm and placed his arm across Taka's chest. Suddenly feeling a bit guilty he considered getting up when he thought about how Tohma had a fiancée and that was worse than what he was doing right now.

"Takashi," Ryuichi whispered in the man's ear.

"It took you long enough," he whispered back in a hoarse voice.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Exactly what I said."

Ryuichi frowned as he realized that his friend had been waiting for him to come to him this whole time. "Is that why you didn't pick up the phone or come and see me?"

Takashi laughed as he rolled over on his side to face Ryuichi. He slowly opened his eyes as his hazel orbs stared at the singer. "I needed to know."

"Needed to know what?"

"That you loved me. If you came to see me if you couldn't contact me any other way I would know."

"But why did you need me to contact you this way?"

"Because…" Takashi trailed off and diverted his eye contact. "Has Tohma been keeping you busy?" He asked changing the subject.

Ryuichi stiffened at the sound of Tohma's name. What could he possibly tell Takashi about his relationship with the blond?

"It's okay, it's one of the reasons why I backed off," he reassured.

"Back…off?"

"Yea…Tohma said that you seemed happier when you weren't in my presence, so I backed off."

"What?" Ryuichi said as he raised his voice. So Tohma was the reason why Takashi hadn't been around?

"It's okay, because you managed to get away and come and see me. That says a lot, at least to me."

Ryuichi leaned down and kissed Takashi's forehead. He knew that he shouldn't do that but he was really sorry about what had happened-even though he didn't know all of the details.

"Aoi…" Takashi said softly.

"Yes?" Ryuichi felt good whenever he heard his real name being spoken, mostly by Takashi. It was like their little secret, even though he knew that two other people knew him by that name.

"I never stopped loving you, and I never wanted to not be with you. I just felt that in order for you to heal you needed to deal with one thing at a time…I didn't mean to push you away." Takashi said as he took a deep breath. "It's just I saw what so much could do to you. When I saw you in the hospital after that incident…I knew I had to help you before I put my personal needs first. That's why I broke up with you but stayed by your side. Because when you were okay again I wanted to be with you again," he confessed.

Ryuichi felt his heart beat speed up rapidly, he had been waiting to hear that for so long and now he finally had. However there was his relationship with Tohma…

"Takashi, I slept with Tohma," he said seriously.

"I'm willing to let it be."

"Could you do that?"

"Sure, it's not like we were together and you needed someone," he reasoned.

"I miss being with you."

Takashi laughed as he kissed the tip of Ryuichi's nose. "Ryuichi 'Aoi Ito' Sakuma…"

Ryuichi laughed at hearing his two names combined into one. He really didn't mind if he was called Aoi, as long as it was by him. He was still getting use to being called Ryuichi even though his name had been changed for three years now. Aoi was nice, Aoi reminded him of their relationship in the past.

"Yes?"

"I know you have something going on with Tohma but…"

"I'll end it for you," Ryuichi responded quickly.

"It won't cause any tension between you two will it?"

"Maybe it will," Ryuichi shrugged. "But Tohma's engagement will cause even more tension so it was going to end anyway."

Takashi looked at Ryuichi with concern. "Is that the only reason why you're willing to be with me?"

"That's a dumb question."

"Just wanted to make sure."

Ryuichi laughed as he hugged Takashi. "I'll pack my bags and move in tomorrow morning."

Takashi nodded when suddenly his phone ranged. He leaned over and picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello."

"I'm fine, how are you?"

Takashi frowned, "no I'm not supposed to work tonight…"

"You couldn't find anyone?"

Ryuichi wanted to take the phone and hang it up. He wanted to spend time with Takashi tonight but it looks like he would have to wait till the morning.

"Okay I'll be there in two hours."

"Okay no problem man, bye."

"You should have told them you couldn't make it," Ryuichi pouted.

"Well look at it this way, tonight you can pack and let Tohma know what's going on and move in as early as you want. You can even move in tonight since you have a spare key," he insisted.

"Yea but…"

"No buts Ryu."

"Call me Aoi."

Takashi laughed as he wrapped his arms around Ryuichi and kissed him passionately. "No buts Aoi don't be stubborn," he whispered.

"Promise to get here as early as possible."

"Sure thing, I'll try to be off by five."

Ryuichi nodded as he got up off of the bed. "Okay see you in the morning."

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When Ryuichi arrived at Tohma's place he felt himself wavering. It wasn't like he didn't have feelings for the blond, it just so happened his feelings were a bit stronger for Takashi. He inhaled and then exhaled, Tohma was getting married anyway. The last thing Ryuichi needed was to worry about a guy's fiancée. Takashi was going to put him first and that's all that Ryuichi wanted.

He opened the door and stepped inside. He could hear Tohma fumbling around in the kitchen and he knew that if he walked in there he could get this over with quick. However he knew that he had to be reasonable since he was involved in a band with him and they had to be civil after this. And considering what he did to keep Takashi away from him, he wanted to tell him the situation and leave.

He made his way into the kitchen to find Tohma leaning over in the refrigerator. Taking another deep breath, he prepared himself.

"Tohma…" he called out calmly.

The blond stood up and looked over at the singer, his blue eyes smiled as he held up some milk. "I was wondering where you went, I'm about to make a cake, want to help?"

"No."

Tohma looked at him a bit surprised, "Okay then…"

"I'm leaving tonight."

Tohma put down the milk and his look turned to suspicion. "Why?"

"I'm…with Takashi now so…"

Tohma's complexion went pale; it was obvious that there was no need to explain anything. He just stood there speechless, not sure of what he could say.

"So…I'll see you at the studio in the morning," Ryuichi said as he turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

Tohma didn't know what to say, but he knew he had to react. He ran out of the kitchen and grabbed a hold of the singer's wrist. "Ryuichi…"

"Tohma you tried to take my best friend away from me…"

"I was only doing what was best for you."

"WHAT WAS BEST FOR ME?!" Ryuichi turned around and faced Tohma. He was angry, how could a person who barely knew him tell him what was best for him? Takashi had been there for him for years, only he could tell him what was best.

Tohma glared at Ryuichi as he let go of his wrist. Why should he care about him? He didn't want him to so why should he waste his time? Tohma continued to stare at him as he debated in his mind. Sure he was wrong for keeping Ryuichi away from Takashi, but over the past few weeks he had been happier than usual. Tohma tried to keep his emotions under control, he wanted to hurt him. He had given himself to Ryuichi, which was something he had never done with a man. He went over his limits to please him, he let him into his home and now he was just about to abandon him?

"No wonder people are always quick to dump you," he said out loud without thinking.

"Wha?!" the singer asked surprised.

"Hurry and get your things, be out within an hour," he demanded as he went back into the kitchen.

Ryuichi's heart broke, he didn't hate Tohma he was a bit angry but he could never hate him. What did that mean for Nittle Grasper? His breaths became short as tears streamed down his cheeks. He needed to hurry and pack and leave.

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Tohma downed another cup of coffee as he stared at the clock on the wall. He and Noriko had been waiting at the studio for over two hours now for Ryuichi to show. The blond began to grind his teeth as he stood up.

"No more coffee Tohma." Noriko stated coolly. She looked over at him with concern. "So what happened between you two?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I'm going to go and talk to him," Noriko responded as she stood up smiled down at him. You can be a bit overprotective but I know whatever you did you didn't really mean any harm.

Tohma nodded as he looked at his empty coffee cup.

Noriko pulled out her cell phone and looked through her number log, she was about to dial Ryuichi's number when suddenly there was a knock on the studio door. Something told her to hang up and answer the door and so she did that. When she opened the door she found a middle age man standing there looking extremely upset. When he noticed the door opened he looked up at Noriko with a glint of hope in his eyes. "Excuse me is Ryuichi Sakuma here?"

Noriko looked at the man confused as Tohma stood up and rushed to the door. "No what's wrong?"

The man looked like he wanted to break down in tears but he kept his composure. "There was an accident last night…when Ryuichi found out he ran off and he's been gone since then."

The color drained from Tohma's face, an accident? "Is he hurt?" He asked as he began to panic.

"No but…"

Noriko placed her hand on Tohma's shoulder to give him a bit of comfort.

"But what?!" The blond demanded.

"Takashi…he's…"

The realization of what the man was trying to say hit him.

"He's dead." The man finished.

A/N: While some of you most likely didn't care about me killing Takashi, I cared about killing him. I liked is character and his relationship with Ryuichi. When I realized I didn't want Ryuichi to pick Tohma over Takashi I felt like the only way to get this guy out of the picture without breaking his heart was to kill him. Part of me wanted to change it and just let Ryu pick Tohma but if you were in Ryu's shoes would you pick the person you have always been in love with? Or your new love who has a fiancée? I wouldn't pick Tohma and since all Ryu wanted was to be loved, he didn't pick him either.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation nor do I own Pop Japan TV (Yes it's an actual show, I use to watch it every night!)

Chapter 9: Lost Melody

This could not be happening; he was just with him yesterday. Ryuichi wept loudly as his forehead rested on his knees. He sat balled up in a corner in Takashi's bedroom as he stared at the bed. That was the last place they were together, the last place he would see, hear and touch him. His heart wanted to break; the only gentleness that he had ever known in his life had been from Takashi.

He wanted to go back to the hospital and see him again, but all that was left was the shell of the man that he loved.

He wanted to be comforted but if he left this place he may not be able to come back. Or if he left then Takashi's family would come and take his things. Takashi would be back, most likely he was just making Ryuichi feel bad for not being around him those three weeks.

His fist balled up in anger as he punched the floor. Tohma had taken his remaining time away from him. If only…

He screamed out in misery, he knew that he was mostly to blame. If he hadn't been so focused on Tohma…It wasn't like he was held prisoner, he was sure he could have left like he had before. But he was too absorbed in the blond to really leave and go and see his friend.

"What am I going to do?" he asked himself out loud. Tears were streaming down his cheeks uncontrollably, stopping them wasn't an option.

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Tohma shook his head in disbelief, Takashi was…

"When, How? Where's Ryuichi? Did you check every possible place he could have gone to?" Tohma asked as he began to panic. Ryuichi was alone, and god knows what he could be thinking right now or…

"Did you check Takashi's house?" Tohma asked.

The older man nodded his head, "we went there but it was no way of us to get inside. If he were inside he didn't answer."

After hearing this Tohma grabbed his coat and ran out of the studio. Takashi's house was the only place Ryuichi would be at. Last night when he had told Tohma of his leaving that was where he was headed. He could imagine Ryuichi sitting in the apartment alone. Having had made the decision to be with his former lover, he couldn't imagine the anguish he was feeling, how much he was resenting Tohma at this moment. Regardless if Ryuichi could display nothing but anger for him at the moment, Tohma had to be there for him no matter what.

He arrived at the apartment no later than twenty minutes after hearing the news of Takashi's death and to his disappointment; the door was still shut and locked. He banged on the door and called out to Ryuichi hoping that he would hear him. He knew he had to be in there and he was hoping that he would open up the door.

"Excuse me sir…" a voice said from behind him. Tohma turned around to find him self staring at an older woman. Her eyes were red, from the possibility of crying, she stared up at him with concern.

"Were you a friend of Takashi's?" she asked as her eyes began to water up at the mention of his name.

Tohma wanted to say no, but he couldn't lie either, "I know him, but I'm a close friend of Ryuichi."

The woman looked confused for a second, "Ryuichi?…oh…you mean Aoi."

"Aoi…yea," Tohma answered awkwardly. It was hard to believe that people still called him that. Was it something that Ryuichi approved of? If so why would he like being called that after so much suffering?

The woman excused herself and unlocked the door, Tohma watched her as he followed her inside the apartment.

"That poor boy has been through so much and now this, what will he do without Takashi?" the woman asked out loud as she sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

Tohma felt bad for the woman, but he could only imagine how Ryuichi was feeling right now. He made his way to the back room and to his relief the lead singer was asleep, balled up in the corner. The blond walked slowly over to him not expecting a happy greeting, but he didn't care. He kneeled down beside him and noticed how wet the front of his shirt was.

"Ryuichi," he whispered as he gently moved his hair out of his face. Tohma watched his sleeping face as sadness overcame him. When Ryuichi woke up and realized his presence, he was positive the singer would be angry.

The brunette opened his eyes slowly as Tohma noticed the look that illuminated from his eyes. It was the same look he had received from his father countless times. A look that drove him away from home and caused him to not want to get close to anyone, the look of pure repulsion. Tohma wanted to back away but he wasn't going to without a fight.

"Ryuichi, come on…let's go back to my place."

The singer yanked away from the blond as he glared at him, "don't touch me." He whispered weakly.

Tohma felt his heart breaking but he told himself to keep it together. Ryuichi was angry now but he was sure he would get over it.

"Ryuichi…I'm…"

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled as he stared at Tohma menacingly. "You're the reason why I didn't get to spend the last weeks of Takashi's life with him. You told him to stay away, I hate you!"

Hate.

_Get away from me you disgust me! Every thing about you makes my stomach churn. If I wouldn't look bad in the media's eye I would dump you and that slut of a mother of yours out on the curb._

Tohma stood up as he backed away from Ryuichi. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"What's going on?!" the woman who had let Tohma in before asked from behind him.

"Ami chan get him away from me," Ryuichi pleaded as he broke out in tears.

The woman who Tohma now knew as Ami looked at him suspiciously, "What did you do to him?"

Tohma wanted to defend himself, but he didn't have it in him at this moment in time. He needed to get away and have time to himself. So he left just as Ryuichi wanted.

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Tohma sat down at the table at Okuda's restaurant along with his mother and father. The time had come for him to meet Mika and Mr. Uesugi under the agreement of their arrangement. Tohma smoothed out his tan blazer as he looked at his reflection on the wall mirror. A week had past since he'd heard anything from or about Ryuichi. He had been doing many things to keep himself busy from bothering to find out. All he knew was that the band was going to stay together and that he would be ready to come back to work in a week.

_Am I really ready for that?_ He wondered to himself as he continued to stare at his reflection. All that he could see was the shell of a person he couldn't recognize. Mentally he was worn out, but physically he looked fine. He continued to stare at himself when he suddenly noticed his father glaring his way.

"You better not embarrass me."

"Yes father," Tohma answered politely.

"I'm sorry we're a bit late," a voice apologized from behind them.

Tohma, his father and mother stood up politely as they bowed and shook hands with Mr. Uesugi. Tohma's eyes then wondered over to Mika as he observed her. She had on a long peach dress with spaghetti straps, a pair of diamond earrings that were only made visible because of her hair being up in a bun.

"Mika-san, you're as lovely as ever," Tohma said as he took a hold of her hand and kissed it.

"Thank you Tohma," she answered as she blushed.

"Looks like our kids were made for each other, right Seguchi?"

Tohma could hear his father chuckle as he motioned for him to sit down as the blond pulled out the chair next to him for Mika.

The dinner went on as the father's chatted about future business plans while Tohma, Mika and his mother ate and listened. The blond knew the dinner was to make the engagement official but he wanted it to be more than that in order to make things work.

"Will you please excuse me gentlemen," Tohma said as he stood up. He asked Mika if she would have a word alone with him and left everyone else at the table. He led her outside in front of the restaurant where they were now all alone.

They were met with a slight breeze, so Tohma took off his tan blazer and draped it around her shoulders. He had on a white long sleeved dress shirt underneath so he figured he would be fine.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her calmly. He placed his hands in his pocket as he leaned against the building.

Mika leaned back as well as she let out a sigh, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you're being forced to marry someone you're not in love with."

Mika let out a soft sigh as she nudged him, "I may not be in love but I do like you a lot."

"Like huh…" Tohma trailed off. _Like is good, it's better than love._

"Is that a problem?"

"No it's fine actually," Tohma answered coolly.

The two stood in silence for a moment before Tohma finally decided to finally do what he originally brought her outside to do. He pulled out the ring box and opened it up displaying the diamond ring. He bent down on one knee and he couldn't help but to notice other people watching him as they walked by.

"Mika-chan, I know that this is all arranged, but I really want this to work out between us so I wanted to do this properly."

The girl stared down at him surprised by the action, but it was quickly replaced by a look of happiness.

"Will you do the honor of allowing me to make an honest woman out of you?" He asked with a grin.

Mika laughed, "That's a strange way of asking but of course the answer's yes."

Tohma laughed as he slipped the ring onto her finger and hugged her gently, "I promise I'm going to try and make this work."

"You better," she responded with a giggle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So do you guys have any idea what the next single off of your album will be?" the interviewer asked as she looked at them hopefully.

"Well it depends on how well this single does," Tohma answered honestly.

The interviewer nodded as she looked at Ryuichi excitedly, "I heard the song and I'm really excited about covering Nittle Grasper as a hot new up and coming band, where do you get your inspiration from?"

Ryuichi looked at the girl as he contemplated the answer. It was hard to tell if he was pretending to think because he had on sunglasses which made it hard to see his eyes, "I guess my inspiration comes from the different people in my life. I do sometimes think about if I had a special someone and what I would say to them."

"Really?! So does this mean that you have no girlfriend?"

"No I'm free as a bird," he replied cheerfully.

"That's going to get you a lot of fans quick."

Ryuichi chuckled at the statement.

"What about you two, have anyone special?"

"Not at all," Tohma answered.

"Ditto," replied Noriko.

"I find that hard to believe," the interviewer joked. "So how are things between you guys, are you close? Or are you the type of band that just meets up and do your thing and go your separate ways?"

Tohma and Ryuichi stayed silent, but Noriko spoke up before the interviewer could suspect any tension, "We're all very close."

"Really?! So would it be fine if we did a documentary on you guys up until the release of your self titled album? It'll be a great way to gain exposure to more fans. The documentary would air on the Pop Japan TV show."

"That would be great!" Noriko answered.

The interviewer stood up as she excused herself to retrieve the contracts so that they could look over them and bring them back later. Tohma sat beside Noriko in silence.

"So how did everything go with Mika-san?" Noriko asked Tohma calmly.

"I proposed to her properly and promised her that I would try to make our marriage like a real one."

"Awww Tohma you softie."

"Okay guys here are your contracts," the interviewer said as she walked back into the room. She handed one to each of them a packet as she smiled down at them. "Pop Japan producers will like you to return the sign contracts within a week. Feel free to make copies for your personal records as well."

"Thank you so much," Noriko said as she stood up and shook the woman's hand.

"No thank you guys, I haven't been this excited about new artists in a long time."

Everyone said their good-byes and left the studio. When they got outside they all hopped into Noriko's car, Ryuichi sitting in the back and Tohma in the front.

"Oh yea," Ryuichi said remembering suddenly. "Here are the lyrics for the new song," he said handing the lyrics to Noriko.

Noriko sighed heavily but took the lyrics and handed them to Tohma.

"Oh my goodness I almost forgot!" Noriko said suddenly as she looked down in her purse. "You guys give me five minutes I forgot my cell phone," she responded as she exited the car.

The two guys sat in uncomfortable silence as they waited for Noriko. Tohma wanted to say something but he wasn't sure if he would get a response back or not so he decided not to. Lucky for him his phone began to ring.

"Hello."

"Tohma! I'm happy I could reach you."

"Mika-san is something wrong?"

"Is there anything wrong with a girl wanting to talk to her fiancée? She asked flirtatiously.

Tohma chuckled, "no there isn't."

"Good."

"So is there anything new going on?" Tohma asked trying to make conversation.

"No, but I was wondering if I could spend the week with you."

Tohma contemplated on the answer. It wouldn't be so bad if he let her come up since he was growing a bit tired of living in solitude. He was about to give her his answer but then Ryuichi snatched the phone out of his hand and threw it on the car ground.

"Ryuichi what in the…"

"Tohma…no don't…I mean…I…" he stuttered.

Tohma turned around and glanced at the man behind him. Ryuichi had on his sunglasses so he wasn't quite sure how to react to his actions but he knew that him speaking was a good thing. The blond got out of the car and slipped into the backseat. He shut the door behind him as he reached over and took off Ryuichi's glasses slowly.

For the first time in weeks he was able to see his eyes and what he saw now wasn't the same expression he saw before.

"Tohma…I'm sorry."

Tohma smiled as he pulled him into an embrace, "I thought you were going to be disgusted with me for good."

Ryuichi sniffled, "Can I come back…to your place?"

Tohma contemplated his answer considering Mika had just asked the same question to him a few seconds before. If he told her no he would have to have a good excuse to why she wouldn't be able to come up to Tokyo.

But regardless he wanted to tell her she couldn't come. He wanted to make his marriage to her work but at the same time he needed Ryuichi by his side. Being apart from him had been harder than he thought it would and it wasn't because of their physical attraction to each other. Ryuichi was almost like his best friend in several ways.

"You can come over but under one condition."

"One condition?"

"Please believe that if I knew something such as that was going to happen I wouldn't have done what I did."

Ryuichi leaned his cheek on Tohma's as the pain in his heart threaten to take over his logic. He knew Tohma wouldn't have did that if he knew the outcome and that's why he had debated over the pass week on whether he would speak to him today or not. Regardless of the anger he felt for the blond, he did still harbor feelings for him.

"That wasn't a good thing, but I know that you did it only because you wanted me around. You didn't want to share me with anyone and I can understand that so that's why what happened then is in the past. It's not like you…did that to Taka…shi."

Tohma smiled as he loosened his embrace and pulled back slightly.

"Tohma?"

"Yea?"

"I miss your kisses."

Tohma laughed as he leaned in and planted a kiss on Ryuichi's lips.

"Jeez I thought if I left you alone you two would at least talk. But you exceeded my expectations," Noriko interrupted as she got into the car. "You two are lucky my windows are tinted unless the press would have had some nice shots of you two."

"Sorry," Ryuichi chirped.

"No problem."

----------------------------------------------------------

Ryuichi moved his things in by that evening. Tohma had him place his things in his guest room just in case Mika decided to come around. He looked at his cell phone as he expected a call back from Mika. Earlier when he and Ryuichi had made up, he forgot about his cell phone that had been lying on the car floor. Thankfully it was hung up and she didn't hear anything that had occurred, but then he couldn't be certain.

He had been careless and wrapped up in Ryuichi to care if she was still on the phone. Although it was cold hearted, the singer was the person who gave him the most comfort right now.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on his door. Ryuichi ran to the door before Tohma could get there. They both had been waiting for Noriko to come and it was about time she arrived.

He opened the door and to his surprise Noriko wasn't at the door…but Mika was. She stood there as she glared at Ryuichi as she held a bag in her hand. By the look she was giving him, his worst assumption had proven true, she did over hear.

"Mika-san I was waiting for you to call me back," Tohma told her calmly as he walked up to the door.

She continued to glare at Ryuichi and didn't say a word to Tohma.

He felt himself becoming a bit annoyed at her behavior and he could see Ryuichi becoming extremely uncomfortable. He walked over and stood in between the two of them as he stared at Mika calmly.

"Look at me not him," he said to her coolly.

Mika turned her glare to the blond, "I'm here to spend the week with you."

"Mika-san I never told you that it was okay."

"But having your…boy…toy here is okay?!" she asked becoming agitated.

Tohma glared at he grabbed her arm and pulled her inside of his apartment, "that comment wasn't necessary."

"Oh and you cheating on your fiancée with a man is?"

Tohma's azure orbs wondered over to Ryuichi who was standing there silently. He looked confused and hurt, all Tohma wanted to do right now was to hold him until he felt better.

"I'm sorry," Ryuichi whispered.

Mika angrily turned towards him and smacked his him across his face, "how dare you even speak to me."

"MIKA THAT'S ENOUGH," Tohma yelled as he walked up to Ryuichi who stood there as his eyes teared up.

Tohma could only imagine how he was feeling right now. He had just lost Takashi and now he was dealing with this, something had to give. He needed to have some rest and relaxation before he had a nervous breakdown.

"I can't believe you're picking him over me?!"

"I'm not picking anyone, but I won't let you lay another hand on him. Your actions are completely out of hand."

"I can't believe this…" Mika muttered as her eyes began to water.

"I'll…leave," Ryuichi whispered.

"Yes please do," Mika responded nastily.

"Ryuichi you aren't going anywhere," Tohma spoke up as he grabbed his arm.

"Oh but I should leave?" Mika asked insulted.

"I didn't say that."

"Well someone has to! You can't have both of your…lovers here," she said disgusted.

Tohma sighed heavily as he thought about what he should do. There was a guest bedroom, Ryuichi could sleep there.

"He's staying in the guest bedroom; you're going to sleep with me."

He felt Ryuichi stiffen.

"Ryuichi stays with me now and I can't put him out on the street."

Mika nodded as tears began to fall from her eyes. Tohma's anger subsided as he let go of Ryuichi's arm and embraced his fiancée.

"I'm…sorry I just lost it when I heard you two earlier."

"It's understandable," Tohma reasoned.

He couldn't apologize to her because he wasn't sorry for his relationship with Ryuichi. In a sense he found himself feeling that if he were forced to make a choice he wouldn't pick Mika but then again, things in that aspect were fuzzy as well.

"Go and put your things up," he told her gently.

Mika nodded as she walked upstairs to his bedroom.

Tohma then turned around to a confused Ryuichi, "we'll have to deal with her for a week okay?" he whispered gently.

He could feel Ryuichi trembling and he couldn't help but to be concerned. He led him to the living room and placed him against the wall where he could see the stairway. He caressed the singer's cheek gently and then kissed its bruised surface. He used his thumbs to wipe his tears as his lips then kissed his forehead.

"I'm really sorry," he whispered as he rested his forehead against Ryuichi's.

"If she does it again I'll send her back to Kyoto."

"But she has a right to be angry."

"This marriage was arranged, it's not like I proposed because I loved her."

Ryuichi nodded understandably.

Tohma's heart dropped as he looked at his sad expression. He leaned in and kissed his lips as he held back the urge to kiss him more. Giving in a bit to his urge, his lips landed on Ryuichi's once more as he forcefully entered his tongue in the singer's mouth. He hungrily kissed Ryuichi as his hands roamed over his chest.

Ryuichi pushed him back as he looked at him out of breath, "we can't…"

"I know…"

"TOHMA!" Mika yelled from the top of the stairs.

The blond pulled away as he let out a heavy sigh and an apologetic look to Ryuichi. He then made his way upstairs.

Ryuichi pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"What's up Ryuichi?"

"Nori-chan," Ryuichi said as his voice began to crack.

"Ryu…what's wrong? Is Tohma being obnoxious again?!"

"No…his fiancée is here…can you come over and keep me company tonight?"

"…I'll be there in ten minutes."

Ryuichi hung up the phone as he exhaled. He could hear the two walking around upstairs and his heart threatened to break into pieces. Life itself didn't look like it was getting any easier any time soon.

He walked over to the couch to sit down when his phone rung again. He picked it up after the second ring.

"Hello."

_"Aoi, where have you been?"_ A gruff voice asked on the other line.

Ryuichi began to tremble at the sound of the voice. How did he get his number?

_"Aoi! Speak when you are being spoken to. You haven't changed; you're still disrespectful and obviously stupid."_

Ryuichi wanted to hang up but he was fearful of what would happen if he did. "Da-dad…h-how have you been?"

_"That doesn't matter boy, I heard that you making it big in the music business."_

"We're not big yet, we're just starting out."

_"Well your mother and I are having money problems we need $2000 by tomorrow."_

Ryuichi inhaled, "but I don't have that type of money."

"_Are you lying to me boy?! I thought I taught you that it was a bad thing to lie to me."_

"No sir I promise that I'm not…"

"_It's about time that you came home. You've been away too long."_

"I-I can't…to.."

"_ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME AOI!"_

"No sir, I would never…"

Before Ryuichi could continue the phone was snatched from his hands. The singer looked up to find Tohma putting the phone to his ear angrily.

"If you call him again or come near Ryuichi again I'll make sure you're dealt with old man," Tohma said icily into the phone before hanging up.

"Tohma…why did you do that?!" Ryuichi asked as he began to panic.

"I won't let him hurt you again," Tohma said as he placed Ryuichi's phone in his pocket and made him self to the door when he heard the bell.

Ryuichi watched Noriko enter the door and walk over to Ryuichi. "We can stay here tonight or we can go to my place."

"What you're staying the night here?" Tohma asked in surprise.

"Yea, Ryuichi wants me to."

"Well going to your place is out of the question, you're staying here."

"Isn't that a bit insensitive?"

"I rather be insensitive than sorry."

"Sorry for what" Noriko asked confused.

Mika suddenly appeared at the steps as she eyed everyone in the living room. Her gaze landed on Ryuichi and didn't leave him. "I think it would be a good idea for him to stay with Ms. Ukai for a few days."

Tohma sighed as he bit his bottom lip, "Don't push it Mika," he said coldly.

Noriko's eyes widen at Tohma's behavior. She had never seen him act like this. Usually he was polite even when he didn't have to be.

"Tohma come with me for a minute," Noriko said as she stood up and grabbed his arm, pulling him outside. She shut the door and then turned around and looked at him. "What's going on with you?"

"I'm going to sever ties with my family," he said flatly.

"Have you put a lot of thought into that decision?"

"Yes, and besides the last thing I need is a fiancée breathing down my back."

Noriko sighed as she pulled him into a hug.

"I don't care about marriage, but I do care about protecting him right now. His father contacted him…Mika's attacking him. She has a right but he's dealing with the death of Takashi right now…he can't handle all of this."

"Well, if you want to go in there and tell her it's over then I'll back you up all the way. I don't know her well and I do care about Ryuichi's well-being."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Tohma pulled away as he walked into the house and noticed Mika once again staring at hole in Ryuichi.

"Mika-san, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she said as she followed Tohma upstairs.

Noriko walked over to the couch only to find him desperately gasping for air. She ran over to him and froze in fear as she noticed how pale his skin was. She picked up her phone and dialed for the paramedics, but to her worst fears he passed out right in her arms.

End of Chapter 9

Author's Notes: Wow honestly this story is turning out more angsty than I originally wanted (I'm not a huge fan of angst). And it seems that I've made Ryuichi the prime target! But I will lighten up the story from now on. I'm going to try and dig the characters out of the hole that I've made for them. And if people noticed they would realize Tohma's nasty past as well hahaha. That just came out as I typed and I was thinking "oh my god I'm so horrible."

Also I'm not happy with making Mika so nasty. I love Tohma and Mika's relationship in the manga and I guess I want to start bringing some of that out.

I hope everyone liked this chapter.


	10. Chapter XX: Status of Story

Chapter xx

Hello I just thought I would update a little and let everyone know I have decided to continue with this story and I am currently working on chapter 10. After reading my story I found myself wanting to write and ending so I started writing again. While my circumstances have changed since the time I began this story (I have a child now) I really wanted to continue on with writing it. I went through my old notes and to my surprise I wasn't even half way through the story so I hope everyone will be patient with me and I will have chapter 10 out in the next two weeks!


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